Dicked Again, or A Tale of Two Dicks

(48) Dicked Again Or a Tale of Two Dicks

Oh, where, oh where is Ron Ziegler now that we need him. Cheneygate. Ron’d get up there and tell us the truth, right away. Just as he did with Watergate.

You can see it now: there he is at the podium in the White House Press Room, a hostile crowd of misled, ultra-liberal sharks swimming, the scent of blood in the water. And Ron puts a quick end to this potential feeding frenzy with a few simple words:

“It was a third-rate shooting, and the President had no advance knowledge of it.”

Watergate (Dick #1) had its 18 minute gap in the spy-tapes. Cheneygate (Dick Junior) has its 18 hour gap in letting the public know what went down in the duck blind, or the quail blind, or whatever they call those places where hunters await prey.

Cheney is bullet-proof, but apparently his pal Harry Whittington (or his “acquaintance” Whittington, as he described the fellow whom he shot when finally interviewed) isn’t.

And Fox News’ Brit Hume? Send him back to the softball league where he belongs.

Here’s the gist of his key question: “Did you down the bird?”

And bring on the cast of “Law & Order” to ask the questions.

Assistant DA Jack McCoy or Detective Robert Goren would have done better.

Here’s the gist of the latter’s key question: “…we know you were worried about your friend. We understand that. But you didn’t let anyone know what happened, DID YOU? You sat there and thought about how to cover your tracks. You sat there and planned out an explanation that would fly. Well, it DOESN’T fly, does it?”

At which point, the Vice President would break down in tears and confess he had a load on or the sun got in his eyes or somesuch.

Incidentally, by all accounts, Whittington is one of the good guys – moderate for a Texas Republican and respected by both sides of the local aisle.)

Think about what would happen to you if you committed either a third rate burglary or a third rate shooting. You’d be in the slammer in no time. “Accident? We’ll let a jury decide THAT.”

Watergate was a potential (some say actual) constitutional crisis, and Cheneygate ain’t. But both show the character of the perps and the people around them.

Even the White House advised Cheney to get the story out fast – which was a moot point (not to be confused with our headquarters in Moote Pointe,) by the time it learned of the incident – also later than it should have.

So, here we have an administration that says “take responsibility for your actions,” which Cheney finally did – on one news broadcast and plenty late.

And here we have an administration that thinks nothing of tapping your telephone tell us it was late with the news because it was trying to protect Whittington’s privacy.

I'm Wes Richards. My opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.™

©wjr 2006