Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Jackie Hotstuff

#278 Jackie Hotstuff

It’s about six and it’s still a million degrees with no clouds. Jackie Hotstuff is wheeling a skid of canned Pepsi up Madison. He’s chewing on an unlit Nat Sherman Special, got the shades and the straw hat he says he bought from an Indian in Ecuador, but really bought from an open air stall on Grand Street.

He’s got The Suit. He’s got The Shoes. He’s got The Shades. He’s late because he wants to make sure Tom the elevator starter is gone for the day. Otherwise there’s going to be another fight, because Tom doesn’t let delivery guys into the elevator during regular hours.

Now technically, Jackie Hotstuff is not a delivery guy. He’s got the hot and cold drink route here in the east 50s and this is the last stop of the day. He figures, he’ll drop the stuff off, load the machine and then head around the corner to Morgan’s for a nice Johnnie Walker Black. He used to drink Blue, but that got expensive. Same with he used to not make any of his own deliveries. But that’s getting expensive, too.

The truck’s in the parking garage at the Palace Hotel, where he’s slipped Benno the night shift guy a 20 to avoid maybe $35 in parking charges, including the time he’s going to spend inside Morgan’s.

That inside thing, by the way…. That’s going to be taken off the tax return next year because in a very real sense it will be a business visit. As in “you don’t need any cola or anything like that, do you?”

A lot of stops like that get written off as a business expense. Not the parking, though. The IRS won’t give an inch on that one. And $35 cash in hand minus the $20 to Benno is $15 bucks he’ll still have in his pocket at the end of the night.

But first things, first. Jackie Hotstuff’s gotta get the stuff up to Three and load the machine and that Johnnie Black is calling, calling, calling.

The coast is clear. Tom’s gone for the day. Sometimes he’s still there at 6 or 6:30 trading lies with some of the other building guys. And if he’s there, he’ll make a fuss about Jackie Hotstuff’s wheeled skid of canned Pepsi and there will go the $15 he just saved by bribing Benno.

Up to three in Elevataor #3, into the office, into the office cafeteria, unlock the Coke machine and get ready to load it.

Yeah, it’s a Coke machine. Coke wouldn’t like that he’s trying to load it with Pepsi, but who’s to know. A cola’s a cola, right? Plus he got a really good deal on a warehouse full of Pepsi that some supermarket decided it didn’t need.

Now, will the Pesi fit in the Coke slots? Sure looks like it. Of course, the hat looks like it came from an Indian guy in Ecuador, too. And the Nat Sherman Special looks like something Fidel would peddle. So better test the machine.

Guess what? A Coke machine will not dispense Pepsi cans.

It’s going to look funny walking into Morgan’s behind a wheeled skid of soda cans.

But going back to the Palace this early would be a bribe-in-vain.

And that Johnnie Black really needs attention.

Maybe Morgan’s really CAN use some Pepsi.

I'm Wes Richards, my opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.

(c) 2007 WJR

1 comment:

Pat said...

Wes,
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your stuff. Semi retirement has not dulled your wit! And, your's is the first "Blog" I have visited. I'll check it out more often. I should have you write a RE blog for me.