Wednesday, January 28, 2009

504 The Breakfast Barometer


 It’s easy to have the same thing for breakfast every day.  And the gourmet crowd around here pokes fun at that at least a couple of times a week.

That's because these gourmets don't have anything at all, which is pretty much the same thing as having the same thing every day.

You can tell a lot about someone from their breakfast order.

But not as much as you used to.

One guy has a toasted bagel and coffee every morning and sits down at the same table in the same deli every day.

That thing's in the toaster before he walks in the door.

If he ever changes it, it'll cause adverse reaction in the short order cook, the cashier and the rest of us who come in at that early hour.

The guy's originally from a country where bagels are... well.. not exactly a
staple.  and although he's been here quite some time you have to figure this is someone with a sense of adventure who's discovered something novel here in the new world.

Your correspondent has an egg sandwich every day, which is (as momma used to say) a good source of protein... gets the engine revving.

It's actually the roll that is the centerpiece of this meal, not the eggs.

Surely the doc would prefer his patient eat fewer eggs, and so would the health insurance company.

Just following mom's advice.

Then, there's a guy who wears a tank top that says "iron workers union,"  wears a do- rag and looks like he's got an attitude.

What does this rough and raw looking working stiff eat for breakfast?

First guess would be something like the egg sandwich -- double bacon, home fries and a short stack with real maple syrup, not that sugary stuff.

Nope.

Here's where the breakfast barometer goes haywire.

Oat meal with granola.  Brown sugar.. raisins. skim milk.  Decaf.

The rest of us needle him about that.

But not too much.  After all, he wears that ironworkers tank top for a reason.

You want granola and decaf.

Yes sir.  Anything you like.

But most of the time, the barometer works.

Like with the people who are obviously trying to lose weight.

Raisin bran, fat free milk, black coffee or a can of slim fast and TWO post-
breakfast cigarettes.

A sure sign of someone who thinks he or she is fat.

The people who really mess up this way of predicting personality and behavior are the people who have something different every day.

Most of the time, they don't make up their minds until they're at the order
counter... and generally, they're one or two ahead of you on line... especially when you're in a hurry.


Breakfast Shrapnel:

--If you turn a hard roll upside down, it's incapable of righting itself.  So, a little sensitivity here.  After all, the poor thing's going to be someone's meal, eventually.


--Historians may disagree.  But the greatest achievement of the Clinton administration was mandating those nutrition labels.  But does anyone police the data?


--Does anyone actually LIKE those cereals with the dried strawberries?  Raisin bran, sure.  But cardboardy berries -- feh!

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own, but you’re welcome to them.®

©WJR 2005, 2009


Portions of today's entry were based on a larger work broadcast on Bloomberg Radio.


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