Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Dick (the talking) Head

545 Dick (the talking) Head

Situation Wanted
Fmr Govt official & industrialist seeks work as radio talk show host.  Major name recognition
and guaranteed ratings getter.
Familiar with Congress, the White House, oil, national defense, the Iraq war, torture and  implanted
cardioverter-defibrillators.
email RBCheney@waterboard.gov

The top ranking talk show hosts must be going nuts with fear.  Former Vice President Dick Cheney went on national television the other Sunday, one of the game show talk fests and started sounding like... well... a right wing talk show host.  The guys that have that job now spent a good deal of air time the following day trying to figure out what Cheney really wanted.  They concluded he wasn't after money, wasn't after interns, wasn't after power and was just being the Great Patriot we all know him to be.

Uh... nope.  Dick wants a job, a job as a talking head.  Got a great voice.  Got right wing credentials that put the other big names to shame.  Got insider experience in both the executive and legislative branches of government and in big business.  Comes from a cowboy state most of us who don't live there think of the Romantic Old West.  Gunslinger.  Waterboard slinger.  More evil than any of his would be competitors.  And he has the main quality that sets these guys apart:  the ability to instantly substitute doctrine for thought no matter the subject.

Plus he's walking around with tens of thousands of dollars worth of medical hardware inside his chest which could cause him to keel over at any moment as the defibrillator either shocks his heart back to normal or kills him.  Almost as compelling of attention as a fender bender or an open cesspool, with none of the danger or the stink.

This has to be scaring daylight out of the rest of the hosts.  Well, not daylight, because most of them work in darkness.  But a Cheney show would sap half the revenue that the top four of five wackos now share.

Islamo fascists, gays, blacks, Jews and the rest of you commies, duck and cover.  Right wing gabbers, be prepared to take a huge cut in both pay and audience.  Here comes Dick (the talking) Head.





Shrapnel:

--If you work yesterday's crossword puzzle today, you'll do better than you did yesterday.  That's not because you can look at the answers because you don't have to.  Others have done the puzzle already and the answers are in the air.

--We have a faith healer coming to town.  He's going to try to heal that stupendous pothole we keep writing and speaking of.  You get to donate, but only after an independent investigation of the healing shows the ground's at last level.

--We note with sadness the passing of one Venetia Phair, 90 of the United Kingdom.  As a girl in 1930 it was she who first suggested a name for what was then the newly discovered ninth planet.  And that's how it came to be called Pluto.


I'm Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.®
©WJR 2009

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dick is a the canary in the coalmine. Obama won, Dick asessed the situation. When he saw the degree of congressional paralysis, and that the Obama machine was going to bog down, Dick made a decision: advance. Dicks no dummy. Few are as experienced as he to take the types of 'reads' he can. The canary has spoken, our representative form of Government is irreparably paralysed and weakened so he can proceed without significant obstacle.

Prodees to or with what? Talk show host? Wishful thinking I think. He has dreams of a new empire. Right through might. Control the oil at all costs. Control the oil at all costs. Control the oil at all costs.

He truly believes the US, or some entity beyond mational identities, perhaps some collection of right-wing-rich, can only survive by controlling overwhenling power.

It's not a pretty thought. I wish he were just going for a talk show job. Back to the canary.....Congress needs cleaned up fast.