568 The Web Maven

568 The Web Maven

Young Einstein is busy trying to build a website. He has this ultra cheap place that registers names for next to nothing and has pulled the trigger. First thing he learns is that cheap isn't cheap. You have to buy a site builder thingy that any oaf can figure out and use. "You'll have your website tonight," says the introduction to the software. But just in case, give us your phone number and we'll give you a "welcome" call and answer any questions. Pick a time frame that's good for you. The software is many times the price of the registration.

Young Einstein gets the call while at work and says to the guy "I can't figure this thing out. It doesn't do what it says it's going to do."

Young Billgates on the other end of the phone says "call me back when you're home and in front of the computer. Meantime, I'll send you some helpful hints." The helpful hints turn out to be the same "information" links that came with the software and are useless.

Y.E. wades through reams of "tutorials" and still can't make a home page appear. He keeps going to the web address and finds an "under construction" sign. He goes to the software "dashboard" and then the "home page" tab. It has ABC news. It has facebook, it has all kinds of junk he doesn't want, and no way to get rid of the stuff.

Hey! How about pushing the "add a page" tab? "You have used all the pages your agreement allows. Would you like to upgrade?" No. So far 'stein has managed to put a picture of the George Washington Bridge (outbound) one one of the precious few pages, and not much else.

He's planning to call the web "help" guy back one day, but none too soon. Maybe some people were just not cut out to be web mavens.

For now, it's back to the endlessly gibberishtic "tutorials," half of which are trying to sell something.

They say website "tonight," but they don't say which tonight. Or for that matter, what year.

Shrapnel:

--Palin's actin' like someone in a wild west movie who hears the words "get out of town and I won't shoot ya." Except when it comes to governors these days, it's "prosecute ya" instead of shoot. Who was it said Palin makes Sanford look stable?

--Howcome it's okay to surge in Afghanistan when it wasn't okay to surge in Iraq or even be there. Bush II was trying to show he did better than daddy, and that and oil is why we went to war. Is Obama trying to show that we can do what the Soviets couldn't?

--The Knight Brothers charitable foundation is increasingly active these days. Let's hope they know more about "founding" than they did about newspapering. And how is it the foundation has all that money while the papers went bust?

I'm Wes Richards. My opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.®

©WJR 2009