Wednesday, December 02, 2009

632 A Huntin' We Will Go

632 A Huntin' We Will Go

(Mount Tantamount, PA.) -- Deer season has begun in these parts. It's a two week slug war that puts close to three quarters of a million gunsels into the woods loaded for bear... no, that's over. Loaded for deer. Sometimes they shoot each other. That already happened on the first day. But it's a huge deal around here. Kind of like the fourth of July, only noisier.

People take this stuff very seriously. You see bright orange clothing and camos everywhere. Even on the streets. You never know when you'll be mistaken for a deer. Especially in a tanked up place like this.

The men who pick up the garbage and trash and recycling get the day off. It's a paid holiday. They don't get VETERANS day off. This, they get.

And the money? Tons of it. A number of these people can't pay the mortgage, but they've got a gazillion dollars worth of gear and guns and ammo. Priorities. Everyone needs a hobby.

Some guys and gals gather in churches the night before the season starts. The newspaper says they're there to swap stories and sing and pray ... and clean their weapons. As good a place as any to do that. Kind of reminiscent of the old joke:

"Father may I smoke while I pray?"

"Certainly not. That would be wrong."

"Well then, may I pray while I smoke?"

"Of course, of course!"

So Father, may I pray while I oil my Remington?

Of course many people look at the deer season as "turnaround's fair play."

Deer here are always hunting cars and trucks. Sometimes (like the hunter who gets shot by another hunter) they pay with their lives. But often, they just damage the cars and trucks out in front of which they prance. Nasty creatures. We humans need to send them a message. And this is the two weeks to do it.

We can't just have these murderous animals on the loose.

Here's one way to speed up the process.

We need a surge. With 750-thousand hunters in the field, perhaps another 30-thousand more would do the trick. We have to discuss this with our allies in New Jersey, West Virginia and Ohio first. But the coalition will prevail!


--Shrapnel:

--A quote from Spike Jones: "The polar bear sleeps in his little bear skin and sleeps very well I am told. Last night I slept in my little bare skin and I've got a hell of a cold."

--The Russian Czar established quality standards for vodka in the 1800s. So why is it that the US and Poland and (even) France can follow them and the Russians can't? Oh well, who cares after the second one, anyway.

--Did December come early this year or are we just imagining it. The calendar's no help. It appears to be lying when it says there were 30 days in this past November.

I'm Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you're welcome to them.®
©WJR 2009

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