Wednesday, September 15, 2010

757 Clean up the Kitchen

757 Clean Up The Kitchen

Aside from the Fox and faux Fox right wing hate-fests, the essentially useless other cable news "services" and the shopping channels, the most obnoxious thing on TV today is the cooking show. And it doesn't matter who's cooking show it is, they all share one central flaw that anyone who's ever flipped a burger, overheated an oven, or tried to cram leftovers into a refrigerator knows well. No one shows you the after-cooking cleanup.

Granted, these are "cooking" shows, not clean up shows. But still. Rachael Ray, former babe and present chubboid will show you how to cook a meal in 30 minutes, hence the title of her show "30 Minute Meals." Of course that time does not include gathering all the ingredients, and certainly doesn't count the time it takes to put the kitchen back into usable shape once the meal is done ... or doing the dishes, for that matter. Don't mean to be picking on Rachel, here. But do you think she scrubs out the frying pan after doing the Yummy Garlic Bread act? Someone does. But you can bet it's not Rachel. Or Paula Drone or Emeril LaGassbag.

Some poor slob is there to do the dirty work, you can bet. Since Food Network is a non-union shop, you can figure the clean up crew does not pay dues to IATSE, the International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees, Moving Picture Technicians and Allied Crafts. So, who does the work? TV-eager interns? Minimum wage broom pushers? Doesn't really matter, it's who DOESN'T do it that counts.

Just once, show us Bobby Flay rinsing plates. Just once, show us Kylie Kwong scrape out the rice cooking machine.

Or maybe they should just forget all that and have a separate channel, or at least a separate set of programs for kitchen cleanup.

"Greetings, friends, I'm Gloria Abruasa and I'm here in the Martha Stewart Kitchens in Connecticut to show you how to remove salmon skin from an improperly greased cast iron frying pan. First, rinse off what you can..." Maybe Emeril has a dumber but equally funny brother or cousin or in law who could do a program following his own. "Welcome to Emeril's dumber but equally funny brother. Today we're going to scrape up the mess he made whipping up that 'easy' Parmigianino Reggiano. You should see all the failed experiments on the floor behind this counter..."

Shrapnel:

--It's September and the political phone calls have started. Two on one recent day, both of them "surveys" without identifying their client. Next, expect the candidates themselves, followed by M. Obama and S. Palin.

--Here in the Great Commonwealth of PA., the state attorney general is the Republican candidate for governor. In our little town hall, his picture is on a poster from his day job, advocating not beating up grandma, a noble sentiment and perfectly appropriate for a sitting attorney general, but it's still a campaign poster and the town hall lady took a citizen complaint and promised the poster would come down. It hasn't.

I'm Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you're welcome to them. ®

©WJR 2010

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