Friday, July 08, 2011

884 Sheryl Crow The Landscaper

884 Sheryl Crow The Landscaper

Note to readers:

This week’s two previous blogs have drawn far and away the largest e-mail response of any other posts from this site.  Reaction to “Happy Birthday America” was almost universally favorable, although some called it overly harsh.  Response to “A Note to the All News Channels,”   was divided, with most people opposing the favorable view of the Casey Anthony jury, but agreeing with the criticism of HLN and TruTV coverage of the trial.

Maybe the critics of the second blog would be satisfied to know that this posting is sponsored by Anthony Anesthetics of Orlando, Florida.  “Chloroform. Duct tape for when Chloroform is not enough.”  The jury said “not guilty.”  This is America.  Deal with it.  More in Shrapnel.
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Lee, the landscaper and snow plow operator and lawn/sand mower here at central Pennsylvania’s Cutsie Condo Community has been upstaged by a crow we’ve named Sheryl Crow after the singer.  We are unsure of Sheryl’s gender, but we are not in the least unsure about her crow-ness or “her” ability as a landscape designer.

Sheryl doesn’t have the kind of restrictions Lee has.  She does not report to the condo board or the real estate management company.  She doesn’t ask residents whether they want red plants or yellow plants or green plants.

She just eats the seeds and drops some of them in appropriate places.  We have a crow infestation.  But you have to exempt Sheryl.

One day she was flying past, probably unaware of what she was doing -- maybe she was hung over.  This IS central Pennsylvania, after all --  and apparently dropped (maybe placed) a seed out front.  One crummy little seed.

Maybe she knew this would happen or maybe she didn’t.   The seed sat there unmoved and unnoticed for a day or two and then became a little plant.  A day later, Sheryl’s contribution was about knee high.  A week later, Sheryl’s contribution was as tall as a 12 year old.  Two weeks later, Sheryl’s contribution turned into a five foot tall stalk too thick to cut down without a chainsaw.  Three weeks later, Sheryl’s contribution grew two small flowers.  A week after that, it was two enormous and gorgeous sunflowers of the kind nurseries both pay and charge big bucks for.

So, good -- and thanks -- to Sheryl, part of the Crow or crow infestation and spreader of beauty into an area that needs all the beauty it can get.  Our five foot sunflower is a monument to nature, a nature with which we can’t and won’t interfere.  It is a monument to the beauty and randomness of the wild.  And it probably will draw a strong note and a fine from the Cutsie Condo Association.

And now from the Wessays™ Songbook, the real Sheryl Crow with some fat guy who did a fairly nice job with a  work by Mozart.

Shrapnel (Anthony Edition):

--Casey Anthony’s biggest expense after jail won’t be paying the cost of investigating her lies.  It won’t be paying the lawyers.  It will be paying the bodyguards she’ll need as half the neighborhood buys sniper rifles and waits for its Bernie Goetz Moment.

--Maybe Sara Palin can help with protecting the not-killer mom.  She’s got the rifle, she’s got the helicopter.  And pretty soon, she’ll have the time and need the money.

--All this caterwauling about “Justice For Caylee” is fine as far as it goes, but where’s the caterwaul about justice for GI Joe and GI Jane who come home from Afghanistan or Iraq in body bags?  And what about police officers Joe and Jane who get killed on the job, Harvey and Harriet Homeless who freeze to death on the street... or some poor cabbie who gets shot dead by a robber for a couple of bucks in the till?



I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com.
© WJR 2011

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