Friday, August 12, 2011

899 Corporations Are People


899 Corporations are People

(Note to readers:  The male gender in the following post refers to both male and female and is used to avoid sentence awkwardness and unneeded complexity and to adhere properly to the rules of grammar.)

Our thanks to Mitt Romney for clarifying that while reeling madly through the early days of the campaign for the Republican presidential nominations.  

Of COURSE corporations are people!  It says so... well, it says so somewhere.  And it’s about time we started TREATING them like people, too.

Like when you’re on the bus or the train and one of them steps on your toes?  Step back!  Or when one of them crunches your 401k?  A good right cross to the jaw will put him or her in its place.

When a corporation robs, rapes or murders you, put him on trial. No more consent agreements with the FDA over lead poisoning.  Put ‘em on trial.  Let a jury of his peers have the final say.  It’s the American way.

When one of them pays no taxes, haul him off to debtor's prison.

When one of them careens down the road, zig zagging across lanes and breaking the speed limit, pull him over, give him a breathalyzer and if appropriate, send him to the drunk tank and then court for a DWI.

When one of them plays his music too loud after 11 PM, call the cops.

And when one of them falls on financial hard times, by all means, write the welfare checks, hand out the Medicaid cards.  When one moves into your neighborhood, bake a pie and bring it over -- or at least make sure the welcome wagon gets to his house.

“All (the corporations’) money ultimately goes to people,” says the candidate.  Right on, Mitt.  But how much, in what proportion and WHICH people?  Your dad, a true corporate titan, is whirling in his grave.  He’s muttering “where did I go wrong?”  He’s looking at that bloated business you occasionally run comparing it to the actual industrial corporation HE ran and saying corporations like yours are nothing more than money movers, they don’t MAKE anything.

If you asked George Romney “is American Motors a person?”  He’d probably answer “Yes, legally.  But really it’s a company that makes cars.”

If you asked Thomas Edison “is General Electric a person?”  He’d probably answer “No, it’s a bunch of crooks that make lightbulbs and it screwed me at the poker table.  Out thieved the master thief, me!”

Edison was wrong.  General Electric is a light bulb maker that owns a bank.  A person has to have a body.  And a soul.


Shrapnel:

--A friend reports a recent day-long power failure in her community, during which she and her husband were forced to slow down and enjoy each others’ company for lack of light, TV, computers, etc. A wonderful island of enforced comradery.  Betting is, there will be a mini-baby boom in that town come June 2012 or thereabouts.  

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2011

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