1037 The Virtual Barbecue

1037 The Virtual Barbecue

You could call this the “virtual formal dinner,” or any other gathering if you want.  But in keeping with the season, we’ll make it barbecues.

There no longer is a reason to hold real ones.  We have Facebook, Twitter, Skype, MySpace, “Go to meeting.com,” and all these connection services.  All that we need to stay at home with virtual friends are CARE packages and a webcam.  And if your computer doesn’t have a webcam, you can buy one for less than the cost of gasoline enough to go to someone’s house.

In Pennsylvania and some other backward states, these cannot contain adult beverages.  But you can always improvise.  In the real world, they can.

So, invite your friends.  Not just from the neighborhood, but from anywhere on the planet.

Send each one a CARE package and let the fun begin.

Aside: Everyone can get drunk and pose little or no danger to himself or the people around him.  And if someone gets unruly or obnoxious, you can cut him out of the video conference without having to take him aside and shake your finger in warning, or having him sleep it off on your couch.

If someone overeats, it’s HIS bathroom’ll get messed up, not yours.

Why should all meetings be business meetings, right?  You no longer travel from Portland East to Portland West for a conference, so why would you do that for a picnic or a barbecue.

And if you want to leave early, just tell everyone you have a low battery or your computer has become unstable or you forgot to pay your internet bill.

No parking worries.  No drinking worries.  No food poisoning worries (probably.)  No stalkers or stalkees.  No screaming bratty kids, no slobbering dogs.  And if you don’t want to watch the ball game on TV, you can avoid it easily.

You can still say something stupid.  But you can’t DO something stupid.  And you don’t have to drive home in the dark.


Shrapnel:

--Chief Justice Roberts’ approval of the Obama administration’s health care mandate certainly came as a surprise to many of us.  Guy starting to look at his legacy, seeing what he’s done and trying to make amends?  Or just a fluke...  maybe having a bad day and didn’t read over what he wrote.

--Fox and CNN got the health law decision wrong at first.  Can’t really blame them.  News organizations often write versions of big stories to match all kinds of outcomes.  Usually, though, the people who push the buttons that put out the stories check which button they’re pushing before they push it.

--Ann Curry has a new job and in it will give NBC News an international presence it can well use.  And the Katie-like Savannah Guthrie will be a big hit.  What the media writers who cluck about all this don’t always tell you is that the ratings loss at the hands of Good Morning America was pretty short-lived.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2012