1064 Romney and Minorities
Plenty of support out there.
African Americans For Romney:
They’ll be meeting in Condi’s SUV. If everyone shows up, Herman Cain will offer use of one of his pizza delivery minivans. If, as expected, they don’t need the minivan, they can lend it to the...
Mexican-Americans For Romney:
Which will be stopped on the Jersey Turnpike and the cop will turn them over to the INS which will find that they’re all citizens, just misguided.
Muslims For Romney:
They are hiding, probably in Montana. No worries. The NYPD will dispatch half a dozen red haired, freckle-faced Irishmen to infiltrate and report back.
Jews For Romney:
They’ll meet in Joe T’s Miata two-seater. Joe at the wheel and that casino guy who used throw money at Newt will be in the passenger seat.
Native Americans For Romney:
Meeting scheduled for the 3rd floor men’s room at Foxwoods.
Gays and Lesbians For Romney: They are meeting outdoors on Temple Square in Salt Lake City just because they can.
Deposed Heads of State For Romney:
Even though they can’t vote, they’re going to use some of their Swiss bank accounts to help out. Gorbachev, Mubarak, Baby Doc, Robert Mugabe and Darth Vader are all on board.
Non White Children For Romney: The majority of newborns in this country are minorities of one kind or another. The children, of course, cannot vote. But they can be displayed wearing badges and buttons and ribbons and baseball caps that say “Romney/Ryan in 2012.” A survey of badge, button, ribbon and baseball cap makers shows a total of about four of each has been ordered.
So, let’s see what we have here. Five deposed heads of state, eight Native Americans, two Jews, an unknown number of Muslims and gays, 18 Mexicans in a minivan stopped on the Jersey Turnpike with a newly broken taillight, and 18 African Americans (19 if Clarence Thomas wakes up this year.)
You have to feel sorry for this guy, Willard. He’s not overtly malicious. He’s not overtly racist. He isn’t even as out of touch and robotic as everyone says he is. But he was raised in a double walled cocoon. Wall one is privilege, wall two is absolutism. And you never fully leave the ghetto, whether it’s a walled city in Poland, a housing project in Los Angeles or a mansion on the hill where “the trees are the right height” and a long trip with a dog strapped to the roof of the car is acceptable. He, like the rest of us, is a product of his genes and his upbringing. He doesn’t have to “be one of us,” but he does have to show something of a visceral understanding of people he just doesn’t get.
--No Bush attended the GOP convention except Jeb. That’s the same as having to go to Sunday dinner at creepy Aunt Sophie’s if you’re the next candidate up when the present one loses. Still, it’s a large scale boycott, as more Bushes are for Romney than are Mexicans and Jews.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them ®
Please address comments to email@example.com
© WJR 2012
1920 The New Voice of Radio News We all know radio is dead. Just ask any pundit. But don’t lose hope. There’s a semi-happy ending. ...
1094 Groupthink Shlomo Tzedaka, the last Bronx Jew, is sitting in his kitchen with the usual sugar cube in his cheek and the glass of tea on...
This is the guy I knew and worked with. Young, fresh, already balding. A decent newsman and a decent human being. This was a gentleman, ...
1909 Bring Back the Blue Pencil See that thing? That’s a blue pencil, the major trade tool for most news editors from the start...