1069 Too Many Choices
Shopper 1 is holding two boxes of blueberries and asks “which one looks better?”
Shopper 2: “weigh each of them and buy the heavier one.”
S1: But they’re each six ounces.
S2: That’s a minimum. It’s never exact.
Viewer 1: Do you want to watch “Sins and Secrets” or “NCIS”?
Viewer 2: Whichever has the shorter commercial breaks.
Diner 1: In which plastic chain restaurant do you want to have dinner?
Diner 2: The one with the shortest wait for a table.
There are too many choices. Some people like choices, for example whether to have an abortion, or who should run Social Security and Medicare. Often people who like one kind of choice, recoil in horror over another.
Chooser 1: Do you want to choose?
Chooser 2: You choose.
Life as a display of nail polish colors or bakery cookies.
So, you want more of a say in what happens to “your” Social Security money?
And to do that you want to put your bucks in the hands of the Wall Street nincompoops who have done such an outstanding job? You want Bernie Madoff’s “cell” phone number, maybe?
But there are some things about which you have no choice. Example: buying a car and you want a radio, heater, air conditioner, MP3 player, cloth seats, and a rear-vision camera. “Oh, well, you can’t order all that stuff separately anymore, sir,” says Spike Jones (or is it Sid Stone) with the checkered sport coat and the pasted on smile acquired at Whiteners R Us. “Most of what you want is standard equipment. But if you want the rear vision camera, it only comes with the Grand Deluxe Accessory Package which also includes 20 inch wheels, a rear spoiler and an ‘upgraded’ front grille, and rubber door bumpers, heated and cooled driver seats and our Sirius/XM and GPS view screen.”
You often can’t choose your own doctor. How long before you can’t choose your own lawyer?
But mostly, it’s too many choices and you know about as much about them as you do about the Persian invasion of Phoenicia. Like when you picked the items for your 401 K. Or your spouse. And when you just couldn’t decide whether you needed 20 inch wheels and a rear spoiler.
--The latest soon-to-be-overused-word is “texture.” All of a sudden, everything has “texture,” even if it doesn’t. Move over, “premium,” “solution,” “literally,” “impact,” “global,” “motivated,” “ ” and “cool;” there’s a new sheriff in town.
--Katie Couric’s new show, “Katie,” is the perfect program for her. It’s a good mix of the kind of stuff that made Oprah a success. Both she and executive producer Jeff Zucker are back in the comfort zones that made “Today” the most watchable show on television when this duo was at its core.
(Please note that Both Financial Balderdash and High Heels Hot Flashes have important things to say about 9/11. Links are -- as always -- on the right side of this page.)
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to firstname.lastname@example.org
© WJR 2012