Friday, May 03, 2013

1169 Tony Baloney


1169 Tony Baloney

Bet you’ve been worried for years now about disgraced and disgraceful former British Prime Minister Tony Blair.  Well, we can report authoritatively that he’s alive and well despite undermining the standing and principles of the Labour Party and sitting in the lap of disgraced and disgraceful George W. Putch.

To refresh your memory, since British politics probably isn’t one of the Facebook pages on which you have checked “like,” Tony got into a bit of a spot when he and Boy George cahooted to scam Parliament and Congress about things like weapons of mass destruction and the “need” to “democratize” Iraq, at least until a popular election resulted in a leader neither man liked.

The Brits, although reserved on the outside are rowdy on the inside and showed Blair the door, something we could have done here, too and should have.

In any event, Blair’s name cropped up on the radar the other day on spotting a help wanted ad for “Tony Blair Associates.”  They’re looking for “consultants.”  Aside from a guy who steals your watch and then charges for telling the time, the word “consultant” in the same breath as government is the euphemism for lobbyist in training.

The ad directed applicants to go to Tonyblairassociats.com.  Don’t try it.  The website doesn’t exist.  If you want to keep up with Tony, it’s http://www.tonyblairoffice.org/  and there he is, Bugs Bunny teeth and Jimmy Carter stare.

So Tony is keeping up appearances (apologies to the TV program of the same name.) And those appearances are lucrative.  So much so that he’s run out of time for working with his sports teams, working MPs and working his propaganda ministry in exile.  

Tony needs your help.  So help him.  Apply for a job.  If you land it, you probably will be doing better than you are now.

And you’ll be working for a friend of labor (although maybe not a friend of Labour,) and a friend of W’s.  How cool is that!

Interview tip:  you’ll make a good impression if you wear one of Tony’s “bioelectric shields.”  You’ll form a brotherhood of goofy talismans.

Oh... and if you do land, get better looking suits.  Brooks Brothers just won’t do.  Armani at minimum, but better bespoke British.

Shrapnel:

--Here in the colonies, we read that productivity is up.  Easy enough to boost.  Just tell your worker than instead of doing the jobs of two, he’ll now have to do the jobs of three, quotas are up, salary is stable, security is compliance dependent.

--At CBS News, they used to tell you “remember, it’s a privilege to work here,” and in some ways it was.  Now they say it to everyone everywhere and it is -- but not for the same reasons.

--Warren Buffett finally knuckled under and signed up for a twitter account.  Reviews are generally positive.  But do you think the old fella’s going spill any important beans that way... even though he’s used to talking in 140 word clips?

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2013

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