Friday, March 20, 2015

1461 Cable News Acne

Mostly, acne hits hormonal teens.  They usually find it embarrassing.  They use all kinds of creams and lotions to get rid of it.  Usually, it goes away eventually. But even when it doesn’t, it’s more annoyance than harm.

And that’s the present state of cable news, which has chronologically outgrown its adolescence, but still acts as if it’s dealing with an outbreak of pimples.

Ted Turner had a pretty good idea back in the day when he decided to put a reader on a TV set to tell us news 24 hours a day.  Things got better as cable news began to walk.  But just look at it now!

The so-called big three -- CNN/HLN, Fox and MSNBC have become parodies of themselves.

CNN has all these talk shows.  Originally, they had only one, the ditz Larry King. Okay, a break in the late night schedule. But now, half the day is taken up with shows ranging of an attempt to topple Today and more talk hours than anyone needs.  And little news when most people need it.

HLN, its sister network (why are they always “sisters,” and not brothers or cousins?) can’t make up its mind about what it is. Imitation “Today” in the morning, an endless program on what’s trending on Facebook and Twitter, interspersed with viewer-created content that belongs on either Funniest Home Videos or World’s Dumbest Pratfalls.

This is followed by Nancy Grace, the most obnoxious person on the planet and Dr. Drew who has an actual medical degree but does a program that’s kind of like Dr. Phil only less southern though no less pontifical.  And then come hours and hours of “Forensic Files” reruns.

Fox?  Aw, c’mon.  Right wing scream-fest from an alternative universe and altered state of reality.

But the worst of them is MSNBC, with the most ferocious acne breakout of them all.  It’s a left wing scream-fest with one -- count her, one -- worthy anchor, Rachel Maddow.

MSNBC knows it needs work.  It needs to get rid of pretty much everyone, but especially Sharpton, the second most obnoxious human being on the planet.  It needs to put on the fine reporters NBC still has despite all the Comcast Chaos.

Hey, all you cable guys here’s an idea:  Put on the news.  It was good enough for Turner and it’s good enough for you.

Shrapnel:

--Remember the good old days when Netanyahu said “let’s make two countries,” then the bad new days when in order to win re-election he said “a two state solution is not possible…?”  Well, now that he’s won the election, sort of, he’s gone back to his first position.  Since the Hebrew alphabet moves right to left, maybe Israeli baseball runs clockwise.

--On a Saturday morning in January, 2014 David Bird went for a walk in the woods near his home in Long Hills, New Jersey and never returned.  His body was found in a nearby river earlier this week and positively identified yesterday but authorities don’t yet know who or what killed him… or when.  Bird was 55 and a veteran reporter and energy expert for the Wall Street Journal.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2015

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