Wednesday, September 20, 2017

1847 The Missing Shoe


Let’s start with TODAY’S QUOTE:
“We will bury you.”  --  Soviet Chairman Nikita Khrushchev to western ambassadors meeting in Poland, November 18, 1956.

Maybe you misremembered the outburst, Mr. K banging his shoe on a table. There’s controversy about that and no clear film.  And the photo at the top of this post may have been retouched.  So maybe it didn’t happen.

But this one did:
If the United States is forced to defend itself or its allies, “...we will have no choice but to totally destroy North Korea.” -- President Donald trump, September 19, 2017.

So basically the same thing, separated by almost 61 years and half a world.  Two fragile and infantile dictators get on the world stage and threaten to destroy pretty much everything thereunder.

Except that in Khrushy’s case, the threat wasn’t military, it was economic. It came from the same playbook as all the other Soviet brags:

-We invented space travel.
-We invented steam locomotion.
-We invented the department store.
-We invented the Polaroid camera.  And the Tesla. And Cheerios, the Hershey Bar and Seinfeld.

Or the Soviet lies:
-The Tass bureau in Rockefeller Center is not a collection of spies.
-The Soviet mansion in Glen Cove is not a spy's nest.
-We have no missiles in Cuba.
-Okay, we do have missiles in Cuba but they’re not capable of reaching Miami.
-Okay, they are capable of reaching Miami, but they’re unarmed.

It wasn’t until Presidential Svengali John Foster Dulles, AKA Dr. Evil attached an armed conflict implication to the shoe-fit that we thought of it as something explosive to worry about.  Again… remember, these are two separate but equally famous Khrushchev-isms.

In trump’s case, it is military. There’s no mistaking it for anything else.  Just wait until Huckabee and the other know- nothings try to walk this one back.

Of course even if trump wanted to make it happen, he couldn’t.  His generals are too busy with more important matters. Like controlling when Ivanka can visit the oval office for her daily spanking or how the armed services can appear to get rid of transgender soldiers without actually getting rid of them.

But let’s go back to Khrushy’s shoe, which is easier to read than it is to say. There was controversy about whether what he banged on the lectern was actually a shoe.

The Wessays’ Dept. of Investigative Journalism has conducted an exhaustive search for proof -- or at least strong evidence one way or the other.  It was led by former CIA assassin Al Kinstrey, private eye who wore a light Glen Plaid summerweight suit, a straw fedora and shoes with thick gum soles as a disguise.

Kinstry reports that he watched as a technician in the film lab (yes, we still have a film lab) paused the picture and zoomed in to what looks to be a shoe.

The photo is grainy and a touch out of focus.  Assassin Kinstrey, Private Eye says he could not determine whether it was an actual shoe or an implement used in the Russian table game “Siberia” which is played by slamming the edge of a shoe- like  paddle on the edge of two-million ruble coin (a 1.5 million rubel coin if played in Belarus, and yes, they spell it two different ways) and getting the coin to land in a small basket on the opposite side of an electrified net stretched across the table. (The Russians invented electrified nets.)

Kinstrey says he’ll investigate further as soon as they remove his cataracts and may then be able to get a clearer picture.

Meanwhile, trump is memorizing the alphabetized  26 letter 12 number code for a nuclear launch.  And as for his speech?  All that was missing was the shoe.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
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© WJR 2017

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