Okay, big government lovers, here’s a suggestion for a new
addition. We need to establish diplomatic relations with the United
States of America. It’s not enough to live here. Or to be a citizen
here. We need full diplomatic relations.
So let’s build a nice embassy on a quiet, dignified street in,
say, Georgetown and appoint someone with some gravitas to represent our
interests to this budding third world nation.
We could call the building something truly stately, oh… like the
trump Tower South. Make it bigger than those of lesser countries like Britain
and Germany. And we could do what US embassies all around the world have
done since the dawn of electrification: spy on everyone else. Including
ourselves.
Think of the parties we could throw. Think of the enormous
influence a US Ambassador to the US could have in our capital, Cairo on the
Potomac.
If nothing more, we could serve as an example to the witches and
warlocks in the White House. Nah. Forget that part. The White House
witches and warlocks have shown they can’t learn new tricks. Like diplomacy.
Or rolling over. Or playing dead. Or saying much beyond “Polly Wanna
Cracker.”
Since prior experience is a foreign concept to the newly installed
ambassadors from here to -- wherever, let’s find a nice sensible person with no
known credentials in international relations but who meets the trump
administration standard of being a stable genius with an excellent memory and
presidential grade sartorial elegance.
Someone like Mark Zuckerberg. Or Cee Lo Green. The US
ambassador to the US should look humble as befits our emerging status as The
New Bangladesh. Or flashy as befits our status as the Next Duchy of Fenwick.
There’s a problem here. What happens if this country feels
the need to recall its ambassador to itself?
SHRAPNEL:
--The State of the Union speech is over. But who was that guy who
delivered it, someone who sounded almost human? It certainly wasn’t the
fella we sort of elected, and it probably will go down in history as one of the
longest series of lies and tall tales ever told.
--There are two kinds of State of the Union speeches, the long
detailed lecture ala Clinton and the attempted heart tugging, ala Reagan and
Kennedy. Last night’s was an attempt at the latter. With a little war
monging and racism thrown in.
--Amazon, JP Morgan Chase and Berkshire Hathaway are going into
the health insurance business. That’ll mean a change in the way you’re
billed. Pay with your Chase check, then stick it in the Amazon drone that
comes to your door, collects and then sends it to the nearest Burlington
Northern station where it’ll be rail-delivered to an accounting center in South
Dakota.
GRAPESHOT:
-This year’s big Grammy winner, Bruno Mars, isn’t a real person…
he’s a computer animation based on a combination of Michael Jackson, Gerald
McBoingboing and Jennifer Hudson.
-Google AdSense has rejected this URL as an advertising venue
which means that any ads you see here still are parody.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to
them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2018
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