This used to cost a nickel. And it was bigger.
What do you think of
when you hear the name “Hershey?” Chances are it’s a candy bar, the chocolate
of peasants and kings the world over.
Or maybe you think of
the small, unincorporated company hamlet in Pennsylvania with the chocolate
factory, museums, a large and well-attended amusement park where people don’t
fall off rides.
There’s also a pretty
decent hospital, some charity offices and a couple of dozen saloons, none of
which is called “The Hershey Bar,” where people can retire while their friends
and families are busy not falling off rides, having their hearts transplanted
or getting contact chocolate highs from the factory smokestacks.
And you can’t swing a
dead cat in certain areas of the state without hitting someone named Hershey.
it’s also a place where
people gather to hear tall tales told by America’s Storyteller, donald trump,
currently pretending to be president and always on tour.
And there he was, earlier
this week, with a sputtering 90 minute extravaganza of a tall tale, delivered
to an allegedly unpaid cheering crowd. And showman that he is, he followed an
important rule of vaudeville, never turn your back on the audience. We’ll
see why that’s important at the end of this tale, which is roughly five
times shorter than the Great Man’s speech.
Selling his usual snake
oil concoction of lies, brags, racism, sexism, antisemitism; salting it with
seeds of victimization, and manufacturing fake enemies for you to devour along
with him, trump zigged and zagged through his ever-expanding repertoire of
disconnected insults.
--The FBI is corrupt, he
says. Then there are the usual cast of countries and characters:
-Hillary
-Russia
-Ukraine
-Any and every Democratic
officeholder, former officeholder, potential officeholder… But especially
-Schiff
-Nadler
-Pelosi
-Obama
-Jews
-Nazis
-Socialists
The usual gang of people
and things he’s either for or against.
An hour and a half of
that is poison. Tell him that and he’ll give you the cure: more poison, more
venom.
To use a trumpestuous
form of the language: “I don’t know whether or not this is true. But what
I heard is that our teller of tales has a tail. Also, Doctor Bone spurs removed
the horns.
The scars that may be on
his head are why he wears his hair that way. And the tail is why he never turns
his back.
I’m Wes Richards. My
opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Comments: please send to
wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2019
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