In “Alice in Wonderland,” they paint the white roses red before
the arrival of the Queen. In today’s version of Alice’s world, the modern
university, they paint the grass green.
Many of the nation’s
colleges and universities plan to let students drift back to campus this
fall. Here’s hoping they all have plenty of ventilators. Same for the
bars of New Haven, Princeton, Cambridge and other large and small towns where
the current generation of rowdy and uncontrollable immortals go to get
ej-a-ma-kated.
The students and pseudo
students will hear pieties from their school about social distancing, hand
washing, hand wringing... served with a heaping helping of political
correctness, pseudo free speech and the occasional classroom appearances of
professors who actually want to teach, but fear taking attendance.
This is especially true
of the Movie Set colleges. The what? Places that look like places of higher
learning but really are little more than places of show. Majestic
buildings. Rolling hills, green lawns (do they really paint them that
color?)
The grownups wandering
about? Most of them are there to paint the grass. They wear coveralls and
carry paint cans. Then there are administrators with lofty titles but fuzzy
function and who have the cunning to land and keep cushy jobs -- where
attendance isn’t taken either.
But the students and
pseudo students cannot be tamed regardless of what’s preached at them.
They will violate all the rules and some of them will get caught. Most
won’t.
Kids will crowd.
They will gather on the lawns of dorms or frat houses, red plastic cups in
hand. They will “socialize” using every guide from Miss Manners to the Kama
Sutra. It’s what they do.
And both real and Movie
Set colleges are all good at one thing besides spouting pieties. They’re
good at forming task forces and committees to study their real or movie set
problems.
So, expect painstaking
in the neck conferences on what was right or wrong or good or bad about
distance learning. What worked, what didn’t, what needs to be improved or
discarded or left alone?
And there will be
seminars and -- with socially distant seating -- on the socialization that
college is supposed to provide vs. staying home and studying the history of ice
cream flavors 102 in their jammies. Important stuff, doncha know.
Meantime, life will
gradually return to normal. Football coaches will sign outrageously
overblown contracts. So will the small army of deans and vice presidents and
directors of this and that.
Who didn’t leave campus
during the ongoing virus season? Fundraisers and public relations
staffers. They’ve been busier than ever.
I’m Wes Richards. My
opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Any Questions? wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2020
No comments:
Post a Comment