Caution: Professional walker This was photographed on a closed course. Do not try this near home. Wessays is not responsible for oncoming cars or people actually riding their bikes.
We Americans love our cars. Sometimes we “need” to use them,
if only to drive a 6,000 pound machine down the block to buy a
doughnut.
Drivers come at all levels of skills. But it’s both safe and
prudent to assume that an oncoming SUV on a doughnut run is driven by someone
who earned their driver’s license by buying it over the counter at Dollar
General and knows not what that big interior wheel and brake pedal are there
for.
Bad drivers outnumber good ones by a wide margin. They run
stop signs and sometimes red lights. They travel 45 MPH in the passing
lane. They don’t signal for a turn or a lane change. They pump the brakes
suddenly and for no discernable reason, cut you off, tailgate you, and they
text. This is despite user surveys that “prove” everyone considers himself an above
average driver.
Walkers and bicycle riders are at constant risk. But they
are not without fault, either.
Many walkers daydream during their mid-day mosey. They
ignore traffic signals with the same enthusiasm as drivers. And they foolishly
believe in the law and the myth that pedestrians have the right of way and that
you -- yes, you with the Dollar General license, you in the Lincoln Navigator
-- will obey and defer.
And the enviable American literacy rate often vaporizes when
someone on foot is confronted by a flashing sign that says “don’t walk.”
But the worst of the bad lot are the bicyclists because not
only have they flunked out of the same schools as the bad drivers and walkers, but
they are also given special high marks for social superiority.
Noses aloft when anything with an engine comes within sight,
these people smugly deride any lowlife who dares put a touch of carbon dioxide
into the air and believes that drivers are by definition bad citizens and
destroyers of the earth and the road -- probably funded by gasoline tax --
belongs to them.
For decades, bicycle riders clamored for special
lanes. Now, they have them. They never wear out because almost no
one uses them. The only part that shows use is the marking and that’s
only because riders regularly wear out the painted lines while crossing
randomly into and out of the regular motor traffic lanes.
The municipalities that have bike lanes are not merely
bending to the will of the peddle lobby. They’re showing off their
ecological chops. “Look! We have more bike lane miles than any town of
similar size in all of Nebraska.” Meantime, members of the Town Council travel
to work in Town-owned Tahoes fueled using town-issued credit cards.
Except for Council President Bob, 102, half blind, and now
serving his 56th continuous term. Dollar General wouldn’t renew his
license after age 97 so he pedals to the meetings.
Be sure to check the calendar for the dates, then be extra
careful because Bob’s out there in the bike lane and sometimes he forgets his
glasses or his hearing aid. Or both. And you’d feel terrible if they arrested
you after discovering the grille print of your Escalade on his backside.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome
to them. ®
Any Questions: Peddle them somewhere else or write to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WIR 2021
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