MINI 036 Why I fired Grammarly

 Grammarly is spyware wrapped in academic stiffness.  When you invite it onto your computer, it tracks your every keystroke and then does two things:

1.  Monitors your every word.

2.  Tries to upsell you an upgrade which means they’re not only watching you, but you’re paying them to do it.

Now those of us with minimalist educations and who have managed to keep the lights on by writing instead of doing work often feel inadequate when putting words to screen.  That’s why we gravitate toward broadcast and away from print.

 

But there are a lot of rules, many of which we don’t follow out of either ignorance or orneriness. 

Each week, the spies send an email that is supposed to answer the question “How’m I doin’?” Then they tell a user “Your optimism” was up or down X percent and your formality changed by Y percent… things like that. 

 

My scores were pretty good, especially in the category “unique but still correct” word use.  But they keep telling me to “insert articles” and supererogatory oxford commas. Nah. Just a click on “ignore” or “disregard” or “dismiss” usually puts them in their place. 

But now, they’ve piled on the last straw.  I use too many ellipses. That’s three dots that separate phrases.  Not that they’re averse to correcting a fourth dot or inserting a third when there are only two.

 But you can have my ellipses when you pry them from my cold… dead… hand.

 I’m wesrichards@gmail.com

My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

© WR 2021