1044 Where to Go for a Fan Belt
You’ll be happy to know that Jimmy The Book has been released from Moria Schock Correctional Facility, nestled in the scenic Adirondack hamlet of Mineville, New York.
Jimmy was a guest of New York State which (falsely) accused him of running a recreational investment firm from the back of his auto parts store on Greenpoint Avenue in the scenic Queens hamlet of Sunnyside.
When he was first arrested, Jimmy sat handcuffed in the back of a cruiser from the 108th Precinct and watched while uniforms and detective-thirds took boxes of records, a couple of computers and 17 telephones and loaded them into a van while uniforms and detective-twos herded a group of scraggly men into white paddy wagons with baby blue horizontal stripes... new ones, that like their prowl car brothers you’d think belonged to the Sheriff of Fairfield, Connecticut if you didn’t see the big “NYPD” on the side. Classy. But too Darien.
In explaining the telephones to investigators, Jimmy said “I Sell fuel injectors and transmission fluid, Armor All and head gaskets. Those phones? I do business all over the country. That’s my phone bank!”
Turned out the “all over the country” part was right.
Jimmy got off light. Possibly because many of those uniforms and D-2s and 3s may have, from time to time, done some business by calling some of those telephones-in-evidence... only to order spark plugs and Simoniz, of course.
Jimmy’s back behind the parts counter now. And the back room, where his national sales phone bank used to be? Just a couple of guys at desks and only one phone on each. But it still gets hectic around post time each day. The phone bank’s been outsourced to India. Never underestimate the creativity of an American entrepreneur.
Shrapnel:
--The rumors are untrue. The Pennsylvania State University says it will not now move the bronze statue of Joe Paterno from in front of Beaver Stadium. This, after published reports said it would be taken down and re-erected in the football building’s shower room.
Now, the latest news from the Associated Wes:
Food and Terror in Southern California.
SAN DIEGO CA (AW) -- San Diego Beach Police have incarcerated over 100 blue fin tuna suspected of widespread trafficking in illegal radioactive material from Japanese waters to American shores.
San Diego’s only remaining head lifeguard following budget cutting layoffs of his 1,000 member staff said he didn’t know how many fish had fled to Mexico’s Baja to escape questioning, it was clear that carrying radioactive material, even for migration, would not be accepted in US corporate-run courts and that all species would eventually give up their dirty secrets in a Guantanamo Bay Facility.
Although waterboarding does not work with blue fin tuna, the department of Homer (Simpson) Land Security is said to be employing dozens of Secret Service-trained crack hookers from Bogota to “blow this out of the water.”
Blue whale attorneys for the tuna could be reached for comment but couldn’t be understood.
We’re both Wes Richards. Our opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com or wescoastmedia@gmail.com
© WJRs 2012
An earlier version of this post misstated the possible range of actions of the corporate run courts.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Thursday, July 12, 2012
1043 Got Tar?
1043 Got Tar?
(STATE COLLEGE PA) -- The most charitable thing you can say about Paterno is he fumbled while the ball was in play.
It’s ten o’clock on a Thursday morning and a few of us outsiders are sitting in a booth in a coffee shop in view of a TV set on one side and a full view of the Penn State main campus right outside the window. We’ve been there awhile and one guy has an iPad and so we have read the “Freeh Report” that in effect says “Good thing we have enough tar and a new brush because when you finish reading this, everyone at this place is going to be covered.”
Months of work by Penn State’s hired guns show what everyone has come to expect: There are no good guys in the Sandusky little-boy-screwed story.
Freeh, the former FBI director now in a law practice in which he’s mostly a rainmaker, is reading a prepared statement that condemns (not necessarily in this order) the closed culture at Penn State that allowed Sandusky free pickin’s for more than a decade of abuse, the fired president of the school, Graham Spanier, the soon-to-be former athletic director, Tim Curley, the retired vice president for business affairs, Gary Schultz and Paterno.
Plenty of tar to go around.
The guys at this table are all from somewhere else and have stayed somewhere else in their heads, if not their bodies. The rest of the place is filled with locals whose table buzz is louder than usual, but still indistinguishable. Every once in awhile a word jumps out, like “dirty!” or “maligned.” (It’s a college town. They say things like “maligned” out loud here. Much classier than, say, “smeared.”)
And that’s probably how opinion in this town will be divided. One side saying dirty, the other side saying smeared.
It’s still not clear whether there was an active conspiracy to let Sandusky play or just a bunch of like thinking executives who thought and acted alike with or without the full advice and consent of the others. But the effect was the same, a coverup to avoid bad publicity. Fine job of that, they did.
When Paterno died in January, there was plenty of activity as people tried to decide what to name after him. After all, winningest coach in the history of major college football, head coach for more than the lifetime of a normal human being, big contributor to the school, the public face of the school. The guy everyone on earth had heard of. A revered public figure with a humble attitude and a winning smile.
So far, this day, no one still says name the vast stadium after him, or the road that runs past it.
It’s too early in the day for the school to answer questions like “what are you going to do about all this?” or even “will you leave Paterno’s statue standing at the stadium’s front entrance?” But it’s not too early in the day to quote one member of the board of trustees saying “we are ashamed.”
And it’s not too early in the day for the guy’s family to issue statements filled with words and phrases like “unfair” or “not right,” or “not true.”
The ex-president Spanier is an amateur magician. He tried to make all this slime disappear. He tried to pull a rabbit out of the hat. Better take a brush up course at Famous Magicians’ School of large scale illusions.
The ex-vice president for business, whose son-in-law has a fat contract to do work for the school, and who was in charge of security, is probably feeling a bit smaller and less secure today.
The athletic director, now on leave and under treatment for lung cancer, showed himself to be the puppet everyone knew he was in the first place.
And somewhere in China, there’s a company getting ready to put together memorabilia sets that include bobble heads of Paterno, Nixon, Anthony Weiner and Bill Clinton, attractively packaged in front of a wide-angle photo of Iraq’s array of weapons of mass destruction. (William Calley action figure sold separately.)
(Note to readers: Please do not bother sending your planned response if it’s going to be a handwringing screed about the “poor children.” Sure they were abused and probably some of them got pretty screwed up from what happened to them. It’s terrible. But they’ll live. The overarching crimes here aren’t even the ones Sandusky committed, they are the acts of this handful of men (and possibly women) and what they did and didn’t do when they learned -- or should have learned what was going on for all these years.)
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2012
(STATE COLLEGE PA) -- The most charitable thing you can say about Paterno is he fumbled while the ball was in play.
It’s ten o’clock on a Thursday morning and a few of us outsiders are sitting in a booth in a coffee shop in view of a TV set on one side and a full view of the Penn State main campus right outside the window. We’ve been there awhile and one guy has an iPad and so we have read the “Freeh Report” that in effect says “Good thing we have enough tar and a new brush because when you finish reading this, everyone at this place is going to be covered.”
Months of work by Penn State’s hired guns show what everyone has come to expect: There are no good guys in the Sandusky little-boy-screwed story.
Freeh, the former FBI director now in a law practice in which he’s mostly a rainmaker, is reading a prepared statement that condemns (not necessarily in this order) the closed culture at Penn State that allowed Sandusky free pickin’s for more than a decade of abuse, the fired president of the school, Graham Spanier, the soon-to-be former athletic director, Tim Curley, the retired vice president for business affairs, Gary Schultz and Paterno.
Plenty of tar to go around.
The guys at this table are all from somewhere else and have stayed somewhere else in their heads, if not their bodies. The rest of the place is filled with locals whose table buzz is louder than usual, but still indistinguishable. Every once in awhile a word jumps out, like “dirty!” or “maligned.” (It’s a college town. They say things like “maligned” out loud here. Much classier than, say, “smeared.”)
And that’s probably how opinion in this town will be divided. One side saying dirty, the other side saying smeared.
It’s still not clear whether there was an active conspiracy to let Sandusky play or just a bunch of like thinking executives who thought and acted alike with or without the full advice and consent of the others. But the effect was the same, a coverup to avoid bad publicity. Fine job of that, they did.
When Paterno died in January, there was plenty of activity as people tried to decide what to name after him. After all, winningest coach in the history of major college football, head coach for more than the lifetime of a normal human being, big contributor to the school, the public face of the school. The guy everyone on earth had heard of. A revered public figure with a humble attitude and a winning smile.
So far, this day, no one still says name the vast stadium after him, or the road that runs past it.
It’s too early in the day for the school to answer questions like “what are you going to do about all this?” or even “will you leave Paterno’s statue standing at the stadium’s front entrance?” But it’s not too early in the day to quote one member of the board of trustees saying “we are ashamed.”
And it’s not too early in the day for the guy’s family to issue statements filled with words and phrases like “unfair” or “not right,” or “not true.”
The ex-president Spanier is an amateur magician. He tried to make all this slime disappear. He tried to pull a rabbit out of the hat. Better take a brush up course at Famous Magicians’ School of large scale illusions.
The ex-vice president for business, whose son-in-law has a fat contract to do work for the school, and who was in charge of security, is probably feeling a bit smaller and less secure today.
The athletic director, now on leave and under treatment for lung cancer, showed himself to be the puppet everyone knew he was in the first place.
And somewhere in China, there’s a company getting ready to put together memorabilia sets that include bobble heads of Paterno, Nixon, Anthony Weiner and Bill Clinton, attractively packaged in front of a wide-angle photo of Iraq’s array of weapons of mass destruction. (William Calley action figure sold separately.)
(Note to readers: Please do not bother sending your planned response if it’s going to be a handwringing screed about the “poor children.” Sure they were abused and probably some of them got pretty screwed up from what happened to them. It’s terrible. But they’ll live. The overarching crimes here aren’t even the ones Sandusky committed, they are the acts of this handful of men (and possibly women) and what they did and didn’t do when they learned -- or should have learned what was going on for all these years.)
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
!042 Taking Counsel
1042 Taking Counsel
Consultants are out, counselors are in.
Camp counselors, school guidance counselors and some grief counselors have real jobs. All the other counselors are... what?
We all know what consultants are: they’re guys who steal your watch and charge to tell you the time.
Modern counselors are similar but with one important difference. They don’t actually steal your watch. They just teach you to mistrust it.
And most of these counselors are preying on women. In a recent issue of a women’s publication, there were ads for counselors in the fields of nutrition, cosmetics, relationships, travel, sales, decorating, advertising/marketing/campaigning, organization, hypnosis, recreation, education, pre-pregnancy, i.d. protection and... “life.”
It’s like saying “okay, girls, we all know you’re all idiots when it comes to what and how to eat, how to apply makeup, how to get along with your significant other, how to make your desk neat, how to book a flight, what to do until the baby is born and... life.”
You think I’m kidding about the woman angle? Open a copy of any magazine directed at men. Think you’re going to find a “choosing what football game to watch” counselor? How about a fishing counselor. You might find someone trying to sell you golf lessons, which we know you need. But he’ll never bill himself as a “golf counselor.”
You think you’re going to find a “barbeque counselor” in the pages of GQ? How about an ammo counselor in Soldier of Fortune? Maybe credit counseling if all the cheap cable channels have no availabilities this week.
Most if not all of these counselors are people who want to sell you stuff... more often than not, stuff you don’t need.
The counseling is free. It’s also free at the supermarket when you ask the vegetable guy what kind of tomato goes best with a romaine salad.
Here is the latest news from the Associated Wes:
LOS ANGELES (AW) -- Most every mainstream American politician’s grey matter has just been proved to originate from still-in-the-package broken Chinese children’s toys or self choking devices found in found in dumpsters behind Ninety- Three Cent stores.
Dr. Max A. Million, spokesman for the poor-quality-done-bad Ninety-Three Cent chain said that the massive refuse from the stores still is being pilfered for alleged use by multinational corporations in their efforts to perfect the Perfect Thespian Criminal, more commonly known as the US politician, despite the fact that the stores’ dumpsters are now being kept in previously empty US federal bank vaults until trash day.
Dr. Million also said that on a positive note the weekly Ocean’s Eleven-like dumpster diving breaches of the federal vaults had saved his company countless billions in rubbish removal fees.
In a rare show of indulgence Chinese toy manufacturers and their American counterparts, NASA scientists, collectively admitted that they could not figure out what was wrong with the aforementioned political brains and that they could be neither recycled nor refurbished.
The big box chain, Bosco, which recently patented with the help of modern political Alchemy, the formula for cooking the fingerprints of pre-teen children found on most major American “necessities” into actual gold bullion could not be reached for comment.
We’re both Wes Richards. Our opinions are our own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com or wescoastmedia@gmail.com
© WJRs 2012
Consultants are out, counselors are in.
Camp counselors, school guidance counselors and some grief counselors have real jobs. All the other counselors are... what?
We all know what consultants are: they’re guys who steal your watch and charge to tell you the time.
Modern counselors are similar but with one important difference. They don’t actually steal your watch. They just teach you to mistrust it.
And most of these counselors are preying on women. In a recent issue of a women’s publication, there were ads for counselors in the fields of nutrition, cosmetics, relationships, travel, sales, decorating, advertising/marketing/campaigning, organization, hypnosis, recreation, education, pre-pregnancy, i.d. protection and... “life.”
It’s like saying “okay, girls, we all know you’re all idiots when it comes to what and how to eat, how to apply makeup, how to get along with your significant other, how to make your desk neat, how to book a flight, what to do until the baby is born and... life.”
You think I’m kidding about the woman angle? Open a copy of any magazine directed at men. Think you’re going to find a “choosing what football game to watch” counselor? How about a fishing counselor. You might find someone trying to sell you golf lessons, which we know you need. But he’ll never bill himself as a “golf counselor.”
You think you’re going to find a “barbeque counselor” in the pages of GQ? How about an ammo counselor in Soldier of Fortune? Maybe credit counseling if all the cheap cable channels have no availabilities this week.
Most if not all of these counselors are people who want to sell you stuff... more often than not, stuff you don’t need.
The counseling is free. It’s also free at the supermarket when you ask the vegetable guy what kind of tomato goes best with a romaine salad.
Here is the latest news from the Associated Wes:
LOS ANGELES (AW) -- Most every mainstream American politician’s grey matter has just been proved to originate from still-in-the-package broken Chinese children’s toys or self choking devices found in found in dumpsters behind Ninety- Three Cent stores.
Dr. Max A. Million, spokesman for the poor-quality-done-bad Ninety-Three Cent chain said that the massive refuse from the stores still is being pilfered for alleged use by multinational corporations in their efforts to perfect the Perfect Thespian Criminal, more commonly known as the US politician, despite the fact that the stores’ dumpsters are now being kept in previously empty US federal bank vaults until trash day.
Dr. Million also said that on a positive note the weekly Ocean’s Eleven-like dumpster diving breaches of the federal vaults had saved his company countless billions in rubbish removal fees.
In a rare show of indulgence Chinese toy manufacturers and their American counterparts, NASA scientists, collectively admitted that they could not figure out what was wrong with the aforementioned political brains and that they could be neither recycled nor refurbished.
The big box chain, Bosco, which recently patented with the help of modern political Alchemy, the formula for cooking the fingerprints of pre-teen children found on most major American “necessities” into actual gold bullion could not be reached for comment.
We’re both Wes Richards. Our opinions are our own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com or wescoastmedia@gmail.com
© WJRs 2012
Monday, July 09, 2012
1041 So How About Saving the World?
1041 So How About Saving the World?
A reader hiding behind a fake name and a faker email address scolds me for sitting here on Olympus and throwing bricks, while never offering solutions and asks for my resume of life-long activism, which he requested in a tone I infer expresses doubt there is such thing. There is and he got it unless it landed in his spam folder.
But he was right when he criticized the lack of proposed solutions. So here are a few... 20 questions on righting wrongs:
1. The biggest ecological problem facing the planet is over population. So how about more protected sex, more abortions and more adoptions?
2. The Olympic games are useless, corrupt and run by a bunch of inbred Euro-trash. This country shouldn’t be a part of it. So how about we make London 2012 our last participation?
3. Organized religion has caused more damage than all the wars, tornadoes, hurricanes and floods in history. God, Allah, Jesus, Buddha, and all of the Hindu and Greek gods all have Skype accounts. So how about dealing direct with the head instead of putting your children and your mind at risk in a house of worship?
4. Politicians are dirty by definition and if they don’t start that way, they become that way pretty quickly. So how about banning political contributions as a start, giving the candidates a limited amount of free air time to make their cases and restrict internet postings to unpaid blogs?
5. You can never keep your eyeglasses clean. So how about making some that are dishwasher safe?
6. The house and senate are clueless. So how about making every member read every bill they’ll decide and pass a test on it before voting?
7. Cell phone conversations by others in theaters, restaurants and on commuter trains and buses are among the most obnoxious forms of … um … obnoxion. So how about blocking the signals in those venues?
8. Hyperinflation in the price of gold is largely a part of shady talk-radio advertising. So how about bringing the price back down to earth by encouraging fat cat retailers to sell it as a “loss leader?”
9. Banks are running amok. So how about mucking out the stall by requiring them to sell their non-banking subsidiaries?
10. Private equity firms tend to turn acquired companies to rubble. If you need examples, try Cerberus and Chrysler, Bain-Romney and Clear Channel and Innovation Partners-Bono and both Forbes and Palm Pilot. How about eliminating these fake job creators who really create nothing but human carrion?
11. America is about factories, farms and mines. We no longer have enough of any of these. So how about building some and stopping tax breaks for those in #10 and others like them?
12. States are useless. So how about eliminating them and dividing the country into four or eight time-zone related administrative regions?
13. Number 12, is pie in the sky, so as an alternative, how about making congressional districts that don’t look like Jackson Pollock paintings?
14. We don’t need an “official” language any more than we need a state religion. But English is the tie that binds. So how about eliminating multi-lingual signs except those that warn of physical danger, like rat poison warnings posted on the subway platforms?
15. Bike riders and joggers are menaces to each other, accidents waiting to happen. So how about making them all obey the same traffic laws and then enforcing the laws instead of giving non-motorists a pass when they screw up?
16. Illegals aren’t “stealing American jobs,” they’re living off the table scraps. So how about making those table scrap jobs pay a living wage and encouraging legal immigrants and naturalized or natural born citizens to actually want the work and willingly seek it?
17. Under the mantle of “foreign aid” we bribe crappy little countries to be our friends and allies. How about using some of that money to help out at home and if there’s any left over, send stuff -- but not cash -- to those countries we still think are worth bribing.
18. The debt crisis is phony. We’ve been “forcing our children and grandchildren to pay for our ‘excesses’” since 1776. You can’t stop it no matter what you do. So how about rolling it over, some of which we do, anyway?
19. No one can understand an insurance contract. So how about enforcing a rule that they be written in plain English, with coverage exceptions in boldface and that they never exceed three pages of type no smaller than 12 point, the font size used on this blog?
20. Desegregation can work, but integration can’t because of our primordial tribalism. How about we try to make peace with that notion and conduct ourselves as if we were sane and not living in the Fred Flintsone era?
Shrapnel:
--If you throw your hat into the ring, it means you’re in it to win it. If you throw your towel into the ring, it means you quit. If you throw a white terry cloth hat into the ring, does it mean you’re in and out at the same time?
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com and if you do, please type them instead of writing them in crayon and scanning them. I don’t have enough storage space for those attachments.
© WJR 2012
A reader hiding behind a fake name and a faker email address scolds me for sitting here on Olympus and throwing bricks, while never offering solutions and asks for my resume of life-long activism, which he requested in a tone I infer expresses doubt there is such thing. There is and he got it unless it landed in his spam folder.
But he was right when he criticized the lack of proposed solutions. So here are a few... 20 questions on righting wrongs:
1. The biggest ecological problem facing the planet is over population. So how about more protected sex, more abortions and more adoptions?
2. The Olympic games are useless, corrupt and run by a bunch of inbred Euro-trash. This country shouldn’t be a part of it. So how about we make London 2012 our last participation?
3. Organized religion has caused more damage than all the wars, tornadoes, hurricanes and floods in history. God, Allah, Jesus, Buddha, and all of the Hindu and Greek gods all have Skype accounts. So how about dealing direct with the head instead of putting your children and your mind at risk in a house of worship?
4. Politicians are dirty by definition and if they don’t start that way, they become that way pretty quickly. So how about banning political contributions as a start, giving the candidates a limited amount of free air time to make their cases and restrict internet postings to unpaid blogs?
5. You can never keep your eyeglasses clean. So how about making some that are dishwasher safe?
6. The house and senate are clueless. So how about making every member read every bill they’ll decide and pass a test on it before voting?
7. Cell phone conversations by others in theaters, restaurants and on commuter trains and buses are among the most obnoxious forms of … um … obnoxion. So how about blocking the signals in those venues?
8. Hyperinflation in the price of gold is largely a part of shady talk-radio advertising. So how about bringing the price back down to earth by encouraging fat cat retailers to sell it as a “loss leader?”
9. Banks are running amok. So how about mucking out the stall by requiring them to sell their non-banking subsidiaries?
10. Private equity firms tend to turn acquired companies to rubble. If you need examples, try Cerberus and Chrysler, Bain-Romney and Clear Channel and Innovation Partners-Bono and both Forbes and Palm Pilot. How about eliminating these fake job creators who really create nothing but human carrion?
11. America is about factories, farms and mines. We no longer have enough of any of these. So how about building some and stopping tax breaks for those in #10 and others like them?
12. States are useless. So how about eliminating them and dividing the country into four or eight time-zone related administrative regions?
13. Number 12, is pie in the sky, so as an alternative, how about making congressional districts that don’t look like Jackson Pollock paintings?
14. We don’t need an “official” language any more than we need a state religion. But English is the tie that binds. So how about eliminating multi-lingual signs except those that warn of physical danger, like rat poison warnings posted on the subway platforms?
15. Bike riders and joggers are menaces to each other, accidents waiting to happen. So how about making them all obey the same traffic laws and then enforcing the laws instead of giving non-motorists a pass when they screw up?
16. Illegals aren’t “stealing American jobs,” they’re living off the table scraps. So how about making those table scrap jobs pay a living wage and encouraging legal immigrants and naturalized or natural born citizens to actually want the work and willingly seek it?
17. Under the mantle of “foreign aid” we bribe crappy little countries to be our friends and allies. How about using some of that money to help out at home and if there’s any left over, send stuff -- but not cash -- to those countries we still think are worth bribing.
18. The debt crisis is phony. We’ve been “forcing our children and grandchildren to pay for our ‘excesses’” since 1776. You can’t stop it no matter what you do. So how about rolling it over, some of which we do, anyway?
19. No one can understand an insurance contract. So how about enforcing a rule that they be written in plain English, with coverage exceptions in boldface and that they never exceed three pages of type no smaller than 12 point, the font size used on this blog?
20. Desegregation can work, but integration can’t because of our primordial tribalism. How about we try to make peace with that notion and conduct ourselves as if we were sane and not living in the Fred Flintsone era?
Shrapnel:
--If you throw your hat into the ring, it means you’re in it to win it. If you throw your towel into the ring, it means you quit. If you throw a white terry cloth hat into the ring, does it mean you’re in and out at the same time?
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com and if you do, please type them instead of writing them in crayon and scanning them. I don’t have enough storage space for those attachments.
© WJR 2012
Friday, July 06, 2012
1040 The Man Behind the Curtain
1040 The Man Behind the Curtain
It’s amazing how many pearls of wisdom you can find in the Wizard of Oz. But chances are, you’re not going to like this posting.
Because in this case, the man behind the curtain -- the wizard -- is Rupert Murdoch. Yes, Rupert Murdoch, the man of sensational headlines, naked women on page three, gossip on Page Six, the right wing propaganda machine we all love to hate: Fox News. Rupert Murdoch of the phone hacking scandals. Of the wife with the championship quality right hook. (Good thing it was the right hook and not the left.) The Australian who became an American Citizen so he could buy TV stations. The union buster. And lately, the lowly writer of tweets on Twitter.
The Last Press Baron. Or at least the last one with actual presses.
You may not like him. You might think he’s a political caveman. A believer in a dying form of media: Newspapers! Who wants newspapers?! (Even Rupert concedes the future is digital. But he’s in the minority of big money moguls who believes there’s a future for news at all.)
You might want to think that the New York Post is made up two weeks in advance. You might think the Times of London has lost its virginity. You might think that the Wall St. Journal is nothing more than a shill for big business.
You might. But Murdoch saves dead newspapers. (The Journal is a trade paper. It may win Pulitzers, but it’s still a trade paper, like Women’s Wear Daily, Variety, the Journal of Pediatric Oncology and Modern Grocer.)
Murdoch is in his 80s and won’t live forever. So when NewsCorp splits itself in two and the papers become a separate company, his heirs will be able to sell off this drag on its bottom line. If they can find buyers.
Anyone want a crack at “The Sunday Tasmanian?” How about “The Bronx Times-Reporter”? All kinds of hot print properties there.
Without Mama Fox to make up the shortfall, and with newspaper readership sinking like the Titanic it once was, Murdoch may be able to have it both ways. If he can make the new newspaper division self-supporting (somehow) and keep the Fox balls in the air it’ll be life in Oz. It’s a bad bet on the surface. But you bet against this wizard, chances are you go broke.
---
Now, the latest from the Associated Wes:
US vs. Alvarez - Making Lies Legal
LOS ANGELES (AW) -- The US Supreme court has lowered the bar making it possible for all bottom dwelling liars, lawyers and fake I.D. makers to slither over it. The decision to let anyone lie in or out of US courts also marked the official start of the US Pathological Liars’ Millennium – or Alternative Truth Millennium theorized by some truth seekers to already be in full political and corporate swing.
At the center of the issue lies our first amendment right to freedom of speech which has been trivialized to include small untruths in court because there is no legal mechanism in place to find and punish the massive number of cheaters. It sounds like a trick to provoke people to admit their lies in public so they can be held accountable. But it isn’t.
The ruling instantly turned all fraudulent I.D.s and paperwork from unacceptably fake to acceptably fake.
Ninety-five percent of diamond jewelry wearing smart phone users, surveyed on line at their local food stamp offices, agreed that the ruling to accept alternative truths made their own lies legally and morally acceptable.
Members of the Supreme Court who are expected to be charged with violating the laws of perspective later this month are said to be claiming plausible deniability and blaming the first amendment.
(Click here to read the full decision.)
We’re both Wes Richards. Our opinions are our own but you’re welcome to them ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com or wescoastmedia@gmail.com
© WJRs 2012
It’s amazing how many pearls of wisdom you can find in the Wizard of Oz. But chances are, you’re not going to like this posting.
Because in this case, the man behind the curtain -- the wizard -- is Rupert Murdoch. Yes, Rupert Murdoch, the man of sensational headlines, naked women on page three, gossip on Page Six, the right wing propaganda machine we all love to hate: Fox News. Rupert Murdoch of the phone hacking scandals. Of the wife with the championship quality right hook. (Good thing it was the right hook and not the left.) The Australian who became an American Citizen so he could buy TV stations. The union buster. And lately, the lowly writer of tweets on Twitter.
The Last Press Baron. Or at least the last one with actual presses.
You may not like him. You might think he’s a political caveman. A believer in a dying form of media: Newspapers! Who wants newspapers?! (Even Rupert concedes the future is digital. But he’s in the minority of big money moguls who believes there’s a future for news at all.)
You might want to think that the New York Post is made up two weeks in advance. You might think the Times of London has lost its virginity. You might think that the Wall St. Journal is nothing more than a shill for big business.
You might. But Murdoch saves dead newspapers. (The Journal is a trade paper. It may win Pulitzers, but it’s still a trade paper, like Women’s Wear Daily, Variety, the Journal of Pediatric Oncology and Modern Grocer.)
Murdoch is in his 80s and won’t live forever. So when NewsCorp splits itself in two and the papers become a separate company, his heirs will be able to sell off this drag on its bottom line. If they can find buyers.
Anyone want a crack at “The Sunday Tasmanian?” How about “The Bronx Times-Reporter”? All kinds of hot print properties there.
Without Mama Fox to make up the shortfall, and with newspaper readership sinking like the Titanic it once was, Murdoch may be able to have it both ways. If he can make the new newspaper division self-supporting (somehow) and keep the Fox balls in the air it’ll be life in Oz. It’s a bad bet on the surface. But you bet against this wizard, chances are you go broke.
---
Now, the latest from the Associated Wes:
US vs. Alvarez - Making Lies Legal
LOS ANGELES (AW) -- The US Supreme court has lowered the bar making it possible for all bottom dwelling liars, lawyers and fake I.D. makers to slither over it. The decision to let anyone lie in or out of US courts also marked the official start of the US Pathological Liars’ Millennium – or Alternative Truth Millennium theorized by some truth seekers to already be in full political and corporate swing.
At the center of the issue lies our first amendment right to freedom of speech which has been trivialized to include small untruths in court because there is no legal mechanism in place to find and punish the massive number of cheaters. It sounds like a trick to provoke people to admit their lies in public so they can be held accountable. But it isn’t.
The ruling instantly turned all fraudulent I.D.s and paperwork from unacceptably fake to acceptably fake.
Ninety-five percent of diamond jewelry wearing smart phone users, surveyed on line at their local food stamp offices, agreed that the ruling to accept alternative truths made their own lies legally and morally acceptable.
Members of the Supreme Court who are expected to be charged with violating the laws of perspective later this month are said to be claiming plausible deniability and blaming the first amendment.
(Click here to read the full decision.)
We’re both Wes Richards. Our opinions are our own but you’re welcome to them ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com or wescoastmedia@gmail.com
© WJRs 2012
Wednesday, July 04, 2012
1039 Happy Birthday, Fatso
1039 Happy Birthday, Fatso
7/4/12. Happy Birthday, America. You managed another year despite all the efforts to kill you. But you’re not wearing your age well. Or your weight.
We’ve grown fat and sloppy. We value minutia over principle, and invoking principle when we defend our lunacy of the moment. We’ve become a nation of gunsels who start huge fires on tinder-dry shooting ranges and then, when those commies in Utah tell us to stop, we crab about our Second Amendment rights. Legislators in Utah want a temporary stop to shooting on state land and that’s an abridgement of your right to bear arms? What about public safety and the cost of fighting fires.
We’re hoarding gold, the principle behind which is a survivalist doomsday scenario in which the country collapses. Eat your ingots when the Wal-mart is overrun by the barbarians (from Mexico.)
We’re using civil rights laws to dictate emotions. White guy shoots black guy or vice versa and it’s a “hate crime.” That makes death worth more?
We hide pedophiles.
We call the people who send jobs overseas “job creators.” (Are you listening, MItt?)
And today, we shoot off fireworks celebrating... what? The elevation of mediocrity to greatness? Making heroes of the Kardashians and the Palins and the Ron Pauls and the Rush Limbaughs.
Let’s all watch Macy’s rockets’ red glare over the Hudson while Regis Philbin quacks and prattles about what a great country this is.
We’ve forgotten the difference between liberty and license.
We have no credible liberal establishment and a right wing establishment that can’t read, can’t think, knows nothing of history and knows nothing of compromise.
We’re focused on illegals, we’re focused on our third Vietnam -- Afghanistan -- and on 500 channels of TV and the red carpet (how many of them ARE there?) Meantime, we send young men and women off to get killed and call it patriotic heroism. We’re focused on calorie counts for movie popcorn and on the size of Pepsi cups. And the country that parented (parented? Politically correct enough for you?) the mass production auto industry can’t build a car that holds up under use on the highways we also don’t know how to make anymore?
So happy birthday, America. You managed another a year in spite of us. But remember -- and you’ve heard this from this space before: We didn’t get to be the way we were by being the way we are.
Shrapnel:
--Who is more American than L.L. Bean, whose centenary his company is observing this year with ruffles and flourishes and free shipping. But if the voter ID law applied to Maine would mean L.L. couldn’t vote. In his day, they didn’t issue birth certificates up there.
--Andy Griffith (1926-2012) may have been the most underrated major actor who ever worked on Broadway or in Hollywood. While he was best known for the silly TV show that added "Mayberry" to the language, it hardly was a showcase for his talents. Just ask anyone who ever saw "No Time for Sergeants" or "A Face in the Crowd."
Coming Friday: The Man Behind the Curtain and the Los Angeles Associated Wes takes another swing at the the Supreme Court.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2012
7/4/12. Happy Birthday, America. You managed another year despite all the efforts to kill you. But you’re not wearing your age well. Or your weight.
We’ve grown fat and sloppy. We value minutia over principle, and invoking principle when we defend our lunacy of the moment. We’ve become a nation of gunsels who start huge fires on tinder-dry shooting ranges and then, when those commies in Utah tell us to stop, we crab about our Second Amendment rights. Legislators in Utah want a temporary stop to shooting on state land and that’s an abridgement of your right to bear arms? What about public safety and the cost of fighting fires.
We’re hoarding gold, the principle behind which is a survivalist doomsday scenario in which the country collapses. Eat your ingots when the Wal-mart is overrun by the barbarians (from Mexico.)
We’re using civil rights laws to dictate emotions. White guy shoots black guy or vice versa and it’s a “hate crime.” That makes death worth more?
We hide pedophiles.
We call the people who send jobs overseas “job creators.” (Are you listening, MItt?)
And today, we shoot off fireworks celebrating... what? The elevation of mediocrity to greatness? Making heroes of the Kardashians and the Palins and the Ron Pauls and the Rush Limbaughs.
Let’s all watch Macy’s rockets’ red glare over the Hudson while Regis Philbin quacks and prattles about what a great country this is.
We’ve forgotten the difference between liberty and license.
We have no credible liberal establishment and a right wing establishment that can’t read, can’t think, knows nothing of history and knows nothing of compromise.
We’re focused on illegals, we’re focused on our third Vietnam -- Afghanistan -- and on 500 channels of TV and the red carpet (how many of them ARE there?) Meantime, we send young men and women off to get killed and call it patriotic heroism. We’re focused on calorie counts for movie popcorn and on the size of Pepsi cups. And the country that parented (parented? Politically correct enough for you?) the mass production auto industry can’t build a car that holds up under use on the highways we also don’t know how to make anymore?
So happy birthday, America. You managed another a year in spite of us. But remember -- and you’ve heard this from this space before: We didn’t get to be the way we were by being the way we are.
Shrapnel:
--Who is more American than L.L. Bean, whose centenary his company is observing this year with ruffles and flourishes and free shipping. But if the voter ID law applied to Maine would mean L.L. couldn’t vote. In his day, they didn’t issue birth certificates up there.
--Andy Griffith (1926-2012) may have been the most underrated major actor who ever worked on Broadway or in Hollywood. While he was best known for the silly TV show that added "Mayberry" to the language, it hardly was a showcase for his talents. Just ask anyone who ever saw "No Time for Sergeants" or "A Face in the Crowd."
Coming Friday: The Man Behind the Curtain and the Los Angeles Associated Wes takes another swing at the the Supreme Court.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2012
Monday, July 02, 2012
1038 The Other Ruling
1038 The Other Ruling
Because so much of the reporting was focused on health care, a little noticed Supreme Court ruling went under the radar. After Chief Justice Robot read his self serving and unnecessarily windy decision on the health insurance mandate, no one stuck around to hear Associate Justices Scalia and Thomas read their landmark decision in the case of Nature vs. Obama.
Nature took the president to court and charged him with trying to redistribute the weather. Bring some tornadoes to places where there are no trailer parks. Bring some hurricanes to Kansas. Raise the average December temperature in Minneapolis to 85 degrees... bring a freeze or two each year to Arizona and Nevada. That sort of thing.
The Federal Appeals courts upheld that. But in a rare unanimous decision, the Supremes struck it down. It helped that both the Tea Party and the Occupy movement filed friends of the court briefs on Nature’s behalf.
Briefly, there was an Occupy effort to force Scalia to recuse himself because he implies he is God and therefore has a vested interest in the outcome. But the movement failed when he declared publicly that while he is the Vatican’s personal representative at court, is not the actual God.
There was no corresponding move to have Thomas recused because he never says anything and because he just copies Scalia’s notes anyway.
So no hurricanes in Cincinnati. Or Minnesota, Arizona and Nevada.
The House Redistribution Subcommittee on the Environment considered a bill that might have circumvented the weather law. And it passed on a mostly party-line vote. But it later died in the Ways and Means Committee.
Unfortunately, the Tea Party’s planned celebration in central Colorado had to be cancelled because of fire. And the Occupy celebration planned for New York was cancelled because the city wouldn’t issue the permit.
As for Nature... it stopped pre-production of weather systems during the appeals process and now has to work overtime to get everything in the hopper. A tough spot to be in at the start of the hurricane season. But they’ve put on some seasonal workers and contracted with suppliers in Bangladesh and China to pitch in and make some of the minor components. We’ve been assured, though, that final set up, assembly and deployment will take place right here in the US.
Immediately after the ruling, forecasters at Fox TV and CNN predicted heavy rains for Denver and highs in the low 40s for Phoenix and Albuquerque.
Later in the day, President Obama issued a written statement saying “We were not trying to take away anyone’s weather. We only wanted and still want fairness in the distribution of conditions.”
Now... the latest from the Associated Wes...
(WASHINGTON) -- A landmark decision reached after nine years of closed door deliberations between the US Supreme Court and Buddha was announced last night. It centered on reversing the dictionary definitions of “incarcerations” and “freedom.” As of January First, all incarcerated US men, women and children will be released from jails. At the same time, all so-called free men women and children will be thrown in the slammer.
Attorneys for incarcerated inmates say this is unconstitutional because all their clients would have to pay for their food, water and health insurance and may even have to get jobs to support such luxuries. There was no opposition from the “free” side of the law on their impending long term vacations and holidays. The only pending aspect still facing the US Supreme Court and Buddha is what to do with all the soon-to-be-empty “freedom cells.” The massive surplus will begin January first, when for the first time, more Americans will be living outside of jails than inside.
We’re Wes Richardses. Our opinions are our own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com or wescoastmedia@gmail.com
© WJRs 2012
Because so much of the reporting was focused on health care, a little noticed Supreme Court ruling went under the radar. After Chief Justice Robot read his self serving and unnecessarily windy decision on the health insurance mandate, no one stuck around to hear Associate Justices Scalia and Thomas read their landmark decision in the case of Nature vs. Obama.
Nature took the president to court and charged him with trying to redistribute the weather. Bring some tornadoes to places where there are no trailer parks. Bring some hurricanes to Kansas. Raise the average December temperature in Minneapolis to 85 degrees... bring a freeze or two each year to Arizona and Nevada. That sort of thing.
The Federal Appeals courts upheld that. But in a rare unanimous decision, the Supremes struck it down. It helped that both the Tea Party and the Occupy movement filed friends of the court briefs on Nature’s behalf.
Briefly, there was an Occupy effort to force Scalia to recuse himself because he implies he is God and therefore has a vested interest in the outcome. But the movement failed when he declared publicly that while he is the Vatican’s personal representative at court, is not the actual God.
There was no corresponding move to have Thomas recused because he never says anything and because he just copies Scalia’s notes anyway.
So no hurricanes in Cincinnati. Or Minnesota, Arizona and Nevada.
The House Redistribution Subcommittee on the Environment considered a bill that might have circumvented the weather law. And it passed on a mostly party-line vote. But it later died in the Ways and Means Committee.
Unfortunately, the Tea Party’s planned celebration in central Colorado had to be cancelled because of fire. And the Occupy celebration planned for New York was cancelled because the city wouldn’t issue the permit.
As for Nature... it stopped pre-production of weather systems during the appeals process and now has to work overtime to get everything in the hopper. A tough spot to be in at the start of the hurricane season. But they’ve put on some seasonal workers and contracted with suppliers in Bangladesh and China to pitch in and make some of the minor components. We’ve been assured, though, that final set up, assembly and deployment will take place right here in the US.
Immediately after the ruling, forecasters at Fox TV and CNN predicted heavy rains for Denver and highs in the low 40s for Phoenix and Albuquerque.
Later in the day, President Obama issued a written statement saying “We were not trying to take away anyone’s weather. We only wanted and still want fairness in the distribution of conditions.”
Now... the latest from the Associated Wes...
(WASHINGTON) -- A landmark decision reached after nine years of closed door deliberations between the US Supreme Court and Buddha was announced last night. It centered on reversing the dictionary definitions of “incarcerations” and “freedom.” As of January First, all incarcerated US men, women and children will be released from jails. At the same time, all so-called free men women and children will be thrown in the slammer.
Attorneys for incarcerated inmates say this is unconstitutional because all their clients would have to pay for their food, water and health insurance and may even have to get jobs to support such luxuries. There was no opposition from the “free” side of the law on their impending long term vacations and holidays. The only pending aspect still facing the US Supreme Court and Buddha is what to do with all the soon-to-be-empty “freedom cells.” The massive surplus will begin January first, when for the first time, more Americans will be living outside of jails than inside.
We’re Wes Richardses. Our opinions are our own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com or wescoastmedia@gmail.com
© WJRs 2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
4759 The Supreme Court
C’mon, guys, we all know what you’re doing. You’re hiding behind nonsense so a black woman is not the next Associate Justice of the U.S....
