859 Executive Pay

859 Executive Pay

Meet Brian Reynolds, the CEO of Comcast, the cable TV company that just bought control of NBC. A chart recently published in the Wall Street Journal put his total annual compensation, salary and all the other bells and whistles at just a shade under $25 million for 2010.

Compare that with the figure for Jeff Immelt, who heads General Electric, a company which actually DOES stuff and which sold control of NBC to Comcast. Poor Jeff. His take was only around 19 million. Don’t know how he’s going to face the neighbors.

The chart is part of a larger story about CEO pay, and which says 350 or so of them got an average raise of about 11% last year. And, to their credit, it shows the top guys at Apple, CitiGroup and whole foods took no pay at all for the covered year.

What would the average pay be and what would the average raise be if you knocked those last three guys off the list and recalculated?

Compare what’s there with the average worker. Not with the poverty level, just people who have jobs and get paid for doing them.

Unfortunately, there aren’t directly comparable figures available. But in its most recent report, the Census Bureau puts median income at around $46,000. If people at that level got an 11% raise, it would mean about five grand a year, $100 a week.

Can’t have that! Goodness, gracious! Why that’s more 50 grand a year.

Realistically, have you ever received an 11% raise? No, of course not. What would make you worth 11% more today than yesterday?

If the Wall Street Journal is crabbing about executive pay, and it is, what should the rest of us think? Oh, and by the way, Rupert Murdoch, owner of the WSJ was paid about 16.5 million.

All this stuff is positively stratospheric. C’mon guys, who is worth this kind of money even if their company does well.

NOTES: Here is the link to the Census Bureau’s American income figures. http://pubdb3.census.gov/macro/032007/hhinc/new06_000.htm
--
Unfortunately, the link to the Journal’s CEO chart is proprietary and posting it probably violates some law or other. But if you want to see it for yourself, go to Google News and put this phrase in the search box: CEO Pay +11%

Shrapnel (NBC Edition):

--Congratulations to friend and former colleague Ann Curry, newly promoted to co-first-banana on the Today Show. Ann is the easiest-to-listen to news anchor on the air anywhere today. More of her is a good thing.

--Schwarzenegger and former NBC correspondent Shriver are splitsville after 25 years? So far, it’s only separation, but you know what’s next. So many rumps to pinch, so little time.

--RIP Jeff Gralnick, 72 of CBS, then ABC then NBC then ABC again then CNN then NBC again. A wild man whose style fit ABC far better than it did either CBS or NBC. But the guy knew his stuff.



I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com.
© WJR 2011

858 The Dirt Devil Census

858 The Dirt Devil Census


Twenty five bucks for a light-duty vacuum cleaner that’s really a hand vac with a long detachable handle, and without enough power to pass those lung capacity tests the docs like to give you. And in return for registering for the warranty whose time limit is unstated, they want a few scraps of information about you. Just a little bit. Just so they can “continue to make improvements.” Just so we “know a little the customers’ lifestyle.” Privatized census data.

Name, address, e-mail address. Okay. Then date of birth. Important? Maybe. If you’re too old (say, over 45,) there’s no reason to pound you with advertising for their Next Big Thing, because who cares about death’s door customer types like you?

Then, your phone number. Why, if, as promised, they’re not going to call you? They also want to know where you bought it and what influenced your decision to buy. And they want to know what you paid or if it was a gift.

Then it gets really interesting. They want to know if you watch TV and when. Or cable. Or satellite. They want to know if you “surf the internet.”

They want to know how many people live in your house and of them, how many are kids. Stuff you don’t even have to disclose to the census bureau.

Your occupation. They really really want to know about your occupation. Are you a “professional?” Or an executive, middle manager, salesperson, a retiree, a student (what student buys a vacuum cleaner?) Clerk? Service worker? In the military, a homemaker (at least they don’t say “housewife.”)

Your income. If you’re buying a $25 dirt devil and not a $400 Oreck or an $800 Dyson, chances are you’re not on the Forbes 400 list. That should be indication enough.

Your education level: In which grade did you drop out? Or do you have a terminal degree?

Which major credit card(s) do you have? Do you own your home, rent it or are you a squatter? And how long have you lived there? Are you going to buy a house or car in the next six to 12 months? (Important info for a vacuum company, no?)

Then they want to know your internet buying habits, your catalog buying habits, your membership in “frequent flyer” programs, whether you house a cat or dog, own a cell phone or a CD player (no mention of an iPod, but they DO want to know if you have an Apple computer.)

Do you: Box, bicycle, go to the gym, run or jog, ski, play tennis, go hiking, camping, fishing, hunting? Do you sew, garden, buy videos? Do you do your own car repairs, read, (two questions, one general, the other about the bible.) Do you collect antiques, do crafting, cruise, have an interest in wine or gourmet food?

And finally, would you list the top three of your favorites of all of the above activities.

All that’s missing is a group of questions about your sexual orientation, your citizenship and your ethnicity. Because even THEY know dirt is dirt even among illegal alien transsexual, gay, cross-dressing multiracial atheists, regardless of color, creed or whether they were born in Kenya or Panama and how long ago.

For the time effort and energy it takes to complete this form, they should at least GIVE you the vacuum cleaner if not pay you a princely sum.



I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com.
© WJR 2011

857 Show Us The Pictures

857 Show Us the Pictures

This post is dedicated to the memories of Michael Tucker, Andy O’Grady and the other 2,994 people killed in the trade center, the Pentagon and on board the four hijacked planes. And to those of the 343 firefighters and paramedics and 60 police officers killed at ground zero. And to the countless first responders and others who have since died from the afflictions the attacks caused; to the 3,000 kids who lost a parent and to the half million of us for whom post traumatic stress syndrome struck at 8:46 and 9:02 on 9/11/01, a lousy condition, but far better than death.

There’s a big fuss going on in Washington about whether to release the pictures of the newly harvested corpse of Osama bin Laden.

CIA Director Leon Panetta promised they eventually will. But it’s not Leon’s decision, it’s the President’s. And of this writing, the President says “no,” the pictures are too gruesome.

There should be no question and no debate.

One side asks “are we so morbid and in need of sensationalism that we have to see the guy sprawled out in a pool of blood running out of bullet holes?”

The other side says “we need to prove he’s dead.”

Both sides are wrong.

This is not Crazy Joey Gallo in 1972, sprawled in the courtyard of Umberto’s Clam House in like pose. It’s not the infamous and grisly John Lennon autopsy photo of 1980.

This is public enemy number one. And we know he’s dead. We don’t need a picture to show us. We just need to see the picture.

This is a small piece of emotional revenge for the thousands of people who died in the 9/11 attacks. The current idiot expression for that is “closure,” which really means we want something concrete to demonstrate that this part of the horror is over.

We want to see his already ugly face as it no doubt became twisted into even greater ugliness in the same death agony he brought to us, and even to his suicide bomb-strapping followers.

Maybe it’s the same urge that makes us slow down and stare when there’s a car accident on the other side of the highway, even though we already more or less know what an auto accident looks like. Maybe it’s the same urge that draws us to look at an open sewer or cesspool, even though we know what raw sewage looks like.

For those of you who don’t know how to recognize twisted metal or the end product of your plumbing, all you need to learn it is one look at the photographs.

But spare us the video of the “respectful” burial at sea. That itself was an act of evil.


Shrapnel:


--Cool move of the week from an unlikely source: George W. Bush declining President Obama’s invitation to join him in yesterday’s 9/11 commemoration at the Trade Center site. Bush was all talk and dry-drunk daddy-envy, has pretty much gone into hiding, and should stay there.

--Runner Up Cool move of the week: NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams’ using the story of soon-to-be-competitor Scott Pelley taking the top job at the CBS Evening News and welcoming him to the time slot. Graceful, statesmanlike, and impossible if Brian’s program wasn’t eating the other dinnertime newscasts’ lunch.


I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com.
© WJR 2011

856 Owen The Barber Calls It A Day

856 Owen The Barber Calls It A Day

After 50 years behind the barber chair, the shoulders just won’t take it anymore. This guy’s a cantankerous, crusty country curmudgeon of a man, but the eyes sparkle and twinkle. He really doesn’t want to give it up. But he’s running a race with time, and knows it. Recent bypass surgery was successful, but after that, you still want to take it easy.

No more haircuts. Cut back on golf. No more fixing-up-the house and schlepping of the tool box. No more playing in the band. All stuff that requires his powerful but now cantankerous, crusty country shoulders.

Part of this is geometry. Owen alleges he is 5’2”. That is not a typo. This means he’s been reaching up for a long time. That can murder the bones and muscles.

Part of this is age. The shop is only open 15 hours a week. He and unindicted co-conspirator Bernie, somewhat younger and much taller, mosey in about noon and mosey out around six on Thursdays and Fridays and then put in another three hours on Saturdays.

A haircut is ten bucks and takes about ten minutes. It’s the kind of place even people with no hair go every now and again even if just for the company. You want face time with your orthopedist? Owen’s is the place to meet. You want to watch baseball or golf on big screen TV without the distractions of home? Read the New York Daily News for free (the store is six hours from the city,) learn the latest about the town cops? Let your obnoxious kids bounce exercise balls? (Don’t complain. Owen’ll invite you out even in mid-haircut!) This is the place.

No shaving. No women’s haircuts (“there’s a perfectly good place for that two doors down.”) Probably violates 16 different laws, but “I don’t give a...”

Owen owns the building which has maybe half a dozen other stores.

Customer: “If you’re going to retire, may I offer a suggestion?”

Owen: “Sure, what?”

Customer: “If they know you’re not going to be around, your tenants are going to get sloppy about keeping the place up and paying the rent.”

Owen: “I’m pretty careful about who I let in. And one of ‘em asked for ten year leases when I told ‘em I was retiring.”

The shop will stay open. Maybe that 1948 National Cash Register will stay as part of the fixtures. And the TV.

Customer: “So, you’re in your eighth decade? You’re much older than I am.”

Owen: ?????

Customer: “You got 55 weeks on me.”

Owen: “So I got two feet in decade eight and you have one in, and one in the air.”

Grump on, Owen. Happy travels. And your teams all win and all your rounds be under par. But not too far under par, if you want anyone to believe the scorecard.


I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com.
© WJR 2011

855 Katie Did -- And Didn't

855 Katie-did, and Didn’t.

(Note to readers: Please excuse the first person material, but despite my firm rule against using “I,” I can’t tell some of this story without it. Thanks.)

The viewers had this figured out long before CBS news managed. Rather was an “anchor” who was not just holding the ship in place but dragging it under.

So they went on a hunt for a replacement, and found one, Bob Schieffer, 74, an old school CBSnik, and sure enough, up went the ratings. Overnight. And they stayed there. But Bob didn’t want the job full time, what with being in his mid 70s and with his duties on the Sunday program “Face the Nation.” So the appointment was temporary and the rumor -- which turned out to be true -- was they were going to hire Katie Couric away from NBC’s “Today Show.”

I worked on Today for almost ten years, knew Katie well and have the greatest regard for her as a person, an interviewer and a show host. She is smart, well informed and quick. And she’s easy to watch and listen to. She is a fine combination of journalist of the kind equally at home with an international crisis and a segment on how to cook Cornish Game Hens on a barbecue. Versatile. Authoritative when appropriate, girl-next-door when IT’S appropriate.

But her selection as anchor of the CBS Evening News probably wasn’t the best choice either for her or for CBS. Now, after covering the Royal Wedding and running out her contract, she’s gone, off to find a syndicated talk show that’s more Katie-did than Katie Didn’t.

And make no mistake about it, that show, when it’s finally put together should and will succeed.

As a veteran of both NBC and CBS, I can tell you that there’s a stark difference in the newsroom cultures. And that’s something neither of the networks seems to get.

Neither culture is “superior.” They’re just different. And few who have made the transition at or near the top of the heap have worked out. Roger Mudd didn’t last at NBC. Bryant Gumbel bombed when he switched from NBC to CBS. And these are just two high-profile examples.

Walter Cronkite would not have been at home had he bolted to NBC. David Brinkley could have worked anywhere after leaving the Huntley-Brinkley report, but knowing these differences, chose ABC as his new and final TV home.

So, here’s Katie, new to CBS, trying a new approach to the Evening News, finding it not working, pulling back to a more traditional format and still not luring viewers despite the wide respect people have for her soon to be former employer and its news division.

And it’s not because she’s a woman. Barbara Walters and now Diane Sawyer prove --not that they should have had to -- that women do fine on the dinner time news programs.

So now, the people at CBS can say “we love Katie but she didn’t work out. It wasn’t the right fit.” But they send Couric back out into the world with a bad report card she didn’t and doesn’t deserve.

Shrapnel:

They should give bin Laden a mob-style funeral. Tons of flowers and limos and such. Then, send in the FBI to take down license plate numbers.


I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com.
© WJR 2011

854 Meet Thy Neighbor

854 Meet Thy Neighbor

(MT. TANTAMOUNT, PA) -- Here’s how to not make friends in the neighborhood.

We drive onto our street, and simultaneously take out the clicker to open the garage door and click it while we’re maybe half a block from our house in the Cutsie Condo Development.

We enter the garage and close the door and less than a minute later, the doorbell rings. There stands Granny, vaguely familiar, who says “may I ask you a favor?” She goes on to say that when our garage door opens, so does hers, and would we please wait until reaching the actual unit before pushing the button?

“I was standing in the garage with the door closed and suddenly it opened,” she said. “Same kind of thing the other day.”

Garage door openers send code to a receiver on the motor. It’s a long string of digits usually unknown to the user. The string of numbers has no limit, hence the number of codes have no limit.

In disbelief, we go outside and from a distance try the opener. Sure enough, it opens ours and closes hers at the same time.

About now, Grandpa arrives. Everyone’s smiling. Everyone’s thinking “what’s the matter with these people.”

Turns out, Granny and Grandpa’s openers failed and like everything else that breaks at Cutsie Condos (and that’s almost everything,) it can’t be directly replaced. So gramps goes out and buys a generic opener, programs it for his door and everything seems fine. Until they recognize this quirk.

“So you try your clicker and see if it works on my door,” he’s told. He does. It doesn’t. This is an uncomfortable position in which to be, heaven forbid the guy gets burglarized. Who’s going to be Suspect Number Uno? Right.

We’ve both been in our houses for the same number of years. He doesn’t want us to do anything, and we shouldn’t have to. And in Cutsie, it’s not a good idea to fool with anything until it breaks -- which, eventually, it will.

Nice folks, these. Until someone gets in to their garage and swipes a case of beer and the grandkids’ tricycles.




Shrapnel (certification edition):

--Since Obama has released his birth certificate (why didn’t he do that three years ago?) it’s time for all of us to certify something or other, so here’s mine: I do solemnly swear that I did not make up the story of the Kings Point cameras (Wessay™ #853,) nor the one about the street smoking ban in its neighbor to the south, Great Neck Village (#806 Shrapnel.) Is all that clear?

--With the birth certificate issue put to rest, the wingnuts are moving on to a new conspiracy, saying the President wasn’t a good enough student to get into Columbia and then Harvard Law and did so only because he’s black, and where are the transcripts? And while you’re at it Mr. President, mind releasing a photo copy of your licenses? Start with drivers’, marriage and the papers for your kids’ dog (if they’re really your kids and “Bo” is really a dog.



I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com.
© WJR 2011

852 Forty Four If By Land, None If By Sea

853 Forty Four If By Land, None If By Sea

What’s in the water around the Great Neck peninsula? Just the other week, the nannies in the second-northernmost of the nine villages banned smoking on the street. Now, one village to the north, paranoia fans, an equally chilling development, and wow would this have been nice to put into the Spy-Pad/Orwell posting of earlier this month. But the news broke too late.

We’re talking about the Village of Kings Point, one of the ritziest on the planet, once home to the mansions of robber barons, now home to the mansionettes of garment district, insurance and Wall Street barons.

The village is in the process of placing cameras at the village’s 44 entry points. Not a big deal in the age of spy cams, security cams, traffic cams and such. But this one has a new wrinkle. The cams aren’t just there to make sure they have video of the latest deli heist artist (Heavens! Do they have delis in Kings Point? Yes.)

These are license cams designed to photograph every plate that comes crosses the border. Even this isn’t extreme in today’s climate. But here comes the new twist: every plate recorded is going to be sent to a national data base and checked for warrants, fugitive status and all kinds of other stuff. Great way for the cops to keep an eye out, right? Keep riffraff out of the place or at least tail it.

In 2001, the US Supreme Court ruled in an odd case, and the decision was and is the object of cop scorn. It declared you can’t use infrared scanning of building interiors from ground or air to see if hanky panky lurks, unless you have a warrant?

How is today’s news any different? What’s next, stop and frisk? A license plate may be “in public view.” But the data collected by law enforcement is not, unless there’s probable cause to suspect criminal activity.

“Pull over, Granny, you fugitive! We’re not fooled by that matronly exterior of yours. We know there’s a bench warrant on file for you for running a stop sign in Elizabeth, New Jersey in 2004!”

If you want to pull a heist, burglarize a mansionette, commit a murder in Kings Point, you’d better come in by boat. The village has water on three sides.

And if you’re fleeing from the smoking police one village to the south, you’d better flee on bicycle or on foot.




Shrapnel:

--Comment from a reader on Wessay™ #852, “Radio Dies Again”: “you're saying terrestrial radio is really nothing more than Conelrad!” Response to this response: No, Conelrad had better announcers and no commercials.” (Conelrad was set up to warn us of an enemy attack, and stands for Control of Electromagnetic Radiation.)

--A new self-published E Book, another yarn about traveling around the country, has taken a page (excuse that one, please!) from the movie and television industries. Commercials in every chapter, and plenty of paid for “product placement.” Your book will continue “after these messages.”


I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com.
© WJR 2011