2115 Remembering Chet Currier

Chet Currier (1945-2007)

I often wonder what Chet Currier would think of Donald trump. He’d first probably scold me for not capitalizing the name of the president. But after that, I want to believe the gloves were off.

I can imagine him thinking thus: Lies? Sure. Every politician lies.  But this guy is king of the whoppers.

We worked together at both the Associated Press and Bloomberg News.  And he was, indeed, a conservative of principle.  That is to say minimally doctrinaire and maximally interested in people carrying their own weight and making their own fortunes, but not unfairly.

Chet’s been gone for 12 years.  Happened right around this time of years. He was 62. By today’s longevity standards he was middle aged.  But prostate cancer didn’t get the memo.

There once were a lot of guys like Chet.  They didn’t pay much attention to conspiracy theories, believed that we should be civil, treat our allies like allies and our enemies like enemies.  He was no big fan of what today’s Conservatives call “entitlements” and which the rest of us call common sense social programs. But neither did he rail against them.

One morning, we were preparing to record our weekly look at mutual funds, not exactly a scintillating subject, and Chet was in studio studying a filled out crossword puzzle with no list of clues. 

What’s that about?

“Oh, I wrote the puzzle and now I’m trying to figure out what clues to give for each word.”  You don’t keep the New York Times waiting.  Chet was on deadline.

You did what?

At the time of his death, he had sold about 1,000 full size puzzles.  He said it came to him easily.  So did his columnist.  Almost everyone printed his stuff.  An English major in college with a keen interest in the markets. A big guy with a big brain.

While the puzzles were a surprise, it wasn’t the only one. He once said “Karl Marx was right.”  This was followed by a long pause. And THAT was followed by “the workers should own the means of production and now they can” -- with mutual funds.

Chet covered his New York roots and the Kansas City beginnings of his career in news by combining “aw shucks” country boy shuffling with more than a dash of the Connecticut upper crust among whom he lived. Somehow he made all three of the ingredients in that recipe work. Not easy.

He didn’t live to see the onset of social media.  Would he have used it?  Probably Twitter.  Not likely Facebook.  But who knows?

Today’s right wing pales next to this fella. He was principled.  He was kind. And he could teach today’s crowd a thing or two about business, about markets, about small-c conservatism and the preciousness of an unfairly shortened life.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ® 

Comments? Send ‘em here: wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2019

2114 The McDonald's Revolt

People are refusing in increasing numbers to touch the touchscreens at McDonald’s.  Why?  Because when you touch them, you’re also touching the fingers of everyone who touched them before you and you never know where unwashed hands have been.

The screens where you place your order are confusing.  And they don’t work any faster than your old 2003 Gateway computer, the one that came in a box decorated like the hide of a Holstein cow and moved slower than Elsie when she found a fresh pile of grass.

This little rebellion started with the “I-don’t-wanna-do-it” league that characteristically didn’t wanna do it.  But since health departments across the land started testing the screens for … um … germy residue, the league’s membership has grown faster than a petrie dish full of nasties.

This has resulted in three market-based solutions.

1.    Some people just don’t eat there anymore.

2.    Many people buy their food on the already-crowded drive up windows, then carry it inside and sit at a table. 

3.    Many other people crowed the lone traditional register that is left standing after the company installs the touch screens.

There are other possible solutions.

1.    Use exam gloves to touch the touch screen.  (Doesn’t always work.)

2.    Use your own germicidal spray before touching. (Probably upsets management. If that stuff leaks into the computer works it probably causes Game Over Syndrome.

3.    Use one of those rubber tipped pens from your smartphone. (This works, but not well and you have to douse the tip in a bottle of Purell and wipe it down after use. This deteriorates the rubber and the effectiveness of the pens.)

The screens are huge. But you have to know McD’s corporate lingo if you use one.  Example: they offer what they laughingly call hashbrown potatoes with breakfast.  If there’s such thing as a reconstituted potato, this fits the profile.  But where do they hide the option?

There’s no “search” function, so you have to know where to find it on the menu.  There is no “how-to” YouTube video that shows you how to find it. One would be helpful.

All of America knows what’s in a Big Mac: Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.  They did a good job of engraving that on our brains.  But suppose you want your Wilt-Burger without, say, onions? Is there a way to order that using the screen? Maybe.  But it’s lost among the sub-menus.

And so may be the product on which their whole business rests: the plain, unvarnished, undecorated, lowly hamburger.

SHRAPNEL:

--Convicted boy bopper Jerry Sandusky is to be re-sentenced next month, say the courts.  Apparently, 30 to 60 years is not enough. Sandusky, 75, is unlikely to live beyond the minimum anyway… so why bother?

--NRA puppeteer Wayne LaPierre must be getting rusty.  Both trump and Moscow Mitch evidently are thinking of increasing the strength of the whisper-touch registration laws.  Wayne, babes, y’ better take advantage of that marionette string sale at Amazon and get to replacing the frayed ones before these madmen actually DO something dangerous, like strengthening the gun laws.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Comments: Send ‘em here: wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2019

2114 Sears as Canary in a Cage and the Death of Print

The beginning of the end of print journalism happened on a cold day in Chicago in 1993.  But wasn’t a newspaper that died, it was an American tradition.

Among its many mistakes, Sears stopped printing its catalog in ‘93.  Just to point out that the company made many bad moves before Eddie Lampert, the current owner was still doing things he knows how to do instead of pretending to bring dead retailers back to life.

The Sears catalog was a precursor and early cautionary tale about all things printed.  Now we read about newspapers and magazines that are first slimming down and then bowing out.  

Victims of the internet. Craigslist stole all the classified ads. Cable TV ads are cheap. Radio ads… well -- they’re the print ads of broadcasting. Nothing much happening there.  Yahoo News, Google News, The Daily Beast, the Huffpost, Drudge, Facebook and Twitter. All the bad guys who are undermining print.

But guess what?  There’s no conference call among electronic media types and no secret hiding place where they all gather to screw the Daily Bugle, “family owned since 1863 and the voice of Bugle County, Montana.”

The reasons Sears is failing have nothing to do with the internet and nothing directly to do with newspapers.  It comes from chronic incompetence.  But killing the catalog didn’t help.

J.C. Penney’s, no Einsteins either,” took a route to catalog oblivion that Sears could have followed.  They print a bunch of small ones instead of one giant one.  And you have to ask for them if you want one.  

Instead, they put all their eggs in the online basket.  The eggs that weren’t broken were rotten. They did it terribly.  Now they do it better. But it’s too late.

Yes, the Daily Treekiller of Egg Harbor NJ didn’t get the message.  The great investigative power of the Chicago Tribune, Sears’ hometown paper didn’t follow up with the effects of de-catalog-ization, let alone inspect its own house at the time.

Would there have been a way to prevent the viral death spiral if newspapers and magazines paid attention?  Hard to tell.  Technology moves far faster than the rest of society. But the newspaper industry had 26 years to wake up and try.  And it didn’t.

The coal miners of yore brought caged canaries down the shaft because if the birds lived, the miners would and if the birds died, there was otherwise undetectable poisonous gas in the air but with still enough time to escape.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Comments? Send ‘em here: wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2019

2112 Toystores of the Rich and Famous

2112 Toystores of the Rich and Famous

You will be happy to know that both Rolls Royce and Bentley report increased sales for the first half of 2018, the latest figures for either of the once jointly owned companies.  Other toystores of the rich and famous aren’t faring so well.

Take Barney’s the one time men’s semi-discount clothing store.  When it moved from Seventh Avenue to Madison and a few miles uptown, it turned into a tony clothing and accessory store with for men and women. Snob appeal at no extra charge.  Regular charge was more than high enough.

Now Barney’s is looking for debtor in possession financing just to keep the lights on, and their former money changer -- Wells Fargo -- is turning a deaf ear.  You would too if someone owed you a quarter of a billion and still had its hand out.

But when the money changers change their minds, the suppliers cut off the supplies.  The New York Post gleefully reports there are few luxury watches on hand and shelves are starting to have that going-out-of-business look.

So Barney’s says it’s still on a hunting trip for bucks.  But the wholesalers and manufacturers are trying to get the store to see the guy who knows a guy who knows a guy at 7th Avenue and 17th Street, so they can get paid.  And the guy who knows a guy is putting help wanted -- leg breakers on Craigslist.

Then there’s Dean & de Luca, the Exxon Convenience store of the rich and famous, only without the gas pumps.  They’re owned by a real estate mogul in Thailand and they’re closing stores at NASCAR speed.

And how about 5th Avenue, strip mall to the stars?  Lord & Taylor, Gap, Tommy Hilfiger and Polo Ralph Lauren have closed their main stores there.

Blame all this on Manhattan’s skyscraper rents, the latest youngest generation, and Amazon.com?  Well, sure. But wait, there’s more.

Maybe this is the answer to the so-called economic boom we’re supposedly experiencing in penny ante raises for poverty level wage earners and a stock market bubble.  The people with real money are allied in this case with the nation’s poor.  Neither group believes the eco-recovery is real.  So the poor get poorer and the rich horde cash.

No more yachts.  Just stock buybacks and mattress-stuffing.  If you had megabucks, you might be doing the same.  If you have nothing, you’re finding out that the highly-touted 15 dollar minimum wage ain’t going to help you at Kroger’s or ShopRite.

If you have Monte Blanc or Prada franchise, you have plenty of time to dust.  As for the Rolls and Bentley Dealers, they can get away with smaller staffs.  After all, selling 15 cars a month instead of 20 is a job you can get done with a staff of two.  And the shorter the number of hours you’re open, the more the remaining spenders will beat a path to your door.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ©

Comments? Send them here: wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2019

2111 Pass the Hemlock

This bell is meaningless unless you know what it really stands for and how to use it.

Feeling low?  Need a boost?  Someone pass the hemlock.  Wait. What? Isn’t hemlock a deadly poison?  Didn’t that Socrates fella die from a small dose?

Well, yeah. He did.  But he knew what it was going to do.  These days we’ve become convinced to operate against our own best interests.  How’d that happen?  With a long campaign by people who have convinced us to believe that taking poison is “what’s meant to be,” or “God’s will,” or what we need.

Naw, that can’t be. Can it?  Well, look at what the president is doing to the people who were counting on him to save their rumps, their bank accounts and their guns.

Of course, no one’s going to give up their effort to survive without being fed something that’s really better than a washing machine and a Chevrolet as the band Alabama described lovingly in its “Song of the South.”

What’s better than a health insurance policy?  Freedom.  What’s the answer to gun control?  Freedom.  How about laws that favor men who force themselves on women?  

Freedom used to mean a lack of oppression or the ability to do what you want when you wanted.  Not so, anymore.  Now it’s a meaningless one-word cliché that people invoke when they don’t like something and want to be rid of it.

“Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose.” -- Kris Kristofferson, American songwriter, singer and philosopher -- though not as prominent as Socrates, and probably not as enduring.

“Let Freedom Ring,” another American songwriter, one you might not have heard of, Jackie McLean.  He wasn’t Socrates either. But we get his flag-waving ode.  And what does it mean?  Not much, these days.

We HAVE freedom.  Mainly, we have the freedom to choose our own oppressors.  That’s the big one.  Some say it’s the only real one.

But freedom doesn’t cure your medical conditions.  It doesn’t fill your bank account. It sure is a shiny lure for human fish.  And you don’t even need a rod and reel to use it.  Especially if you’re a politician.

What the Democrats need in this presidential election cycle is moral outrage.  And they’re not doing it. They’re still stuck in the FDR era of granting for the have-nots.  The New Deal and its aftermath was a life saver for both individuals and the country.  Note: there are not as many have nots as there used to be, and many of them don’t vote.

However, there are plenty of used-to-haves who bit at the lure.  Some realize that they made a mistake.  But that was only after the voted in 2016.

But there are a lot of fine, moral people who should be blotto over what’s going on in Washington and in most State Capitals these days.

We’ve picked the wrong oppressor. And we have subjugated our real needs to an empty cliché.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ® 

Comments?  Here’s where to send them: wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2019

2110 Judge Judy for President

In early December 2005 when Wessays™ was in its infancy we suggested that Judge Judy of TV fame run for President of the United States.  Some of the historical references are dated (Scalia is dead, for example.  And there are fewer than ever members of congress who’d qualify for some of the job alternatives listed below.) But the general ideas stand.

No one paid any attention. But again, her time has come.  Here is the original:

It started with “The People’s Court.” Cases settled on television programs, usually by moderately funny, moderately sensible judges who’d run out of steam in real courtrooms or other political venues, and now slather on the makeup and appear under the lights to render “final” decisions in “real” cases.

There now are at least a half dozen of these characters on your TV screen, all of them with styles that wouldn’t work in a “real” courtroom, but do fine as entertainment.

But wait.

There’s a real chance for life changing reality here.

It’s two fold.

Fold one: such programs can help television fight off the internet to become the center of America’s cultural life. That throne is threatened in ways it hasn’t been since it was established in 1947.

Fold two: these judges really DO make sense most of the time.

Think about that original “People’s Court” guy, Joseph Wapner. A real judge in real life and a TV judge in retirement. Smart decisions. Smart remarks. Judge Mathis, Judge Joe Brown and more. Same story.

But the Leader of the Pack has to be Judith Scheindlin. Judge Judy. She is a combination of everyone’s Brooklyn Jewish Mother and her sister, the Know-It-All Aunt.

Why waste this valuable resources on what are essentially trailer park types suing one another for small amounts of money after crashing each other’s trucks, lending (or giving) each other money and failing to pay rent?

Put her in the Oval Office and let her get the job done.

Example: Judy to Gigunda Motors: “Waddaya mean you wanna take these guys’ pensions away? You made a deal. No one put a gun to your heads. Stockholders? Sir, listen to me carefully. Do you know what the word ‘risk’ means?”

Example: Judy on Iraq: “Democracy? THIS is DEMOCRACY?” You’re getting people KILLED over there. Iraqis are FREE? What about all those women running around without schooling and wrapped like mummies!”

Of course, we don’t know her politics. So here’s an alternative: “You guys have to straighten out what’s going on there. Build a White House, build a Capitol, build a Supreme Court and figure out that you can’t trade one dictator for another.”

Put the rest of the TV judges on a panel and get rid of congress. Checks and balances remain. But no more lobbyists. No more pork barrel. No more gerrymandering.

But DO keep The Supremes. Kind of a counterbalance to the counterbalance. We need a little dignity. And a little controversy to keep things rolling along.

(2019 update)

Gotta re-think that Supreme Court thing.

(Resume 2005 version)

If you put Congress out of business, you can always let the former Senators and Reps go on Unemployment Comp and then get jobs that better suit them. Like running all night gas stations and working the counter at Dunkin’ Donuts.

But who would hire guys like Scalia, Thomas and Alito?

I'm Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you're welcome to them.™

Comments? Send to wesrichards@gmail.com

© 2005, 2019 WJR

2109 Court TV

It’s baaaak! Court TV has returned to the air. Sort of.  Zombie television. Want to watch the OJ trial gavel-to-gavel? (Once was once too much.) Miss seeing Vinnie Politan-all-the-time?  He’s back too.  A group called Katz has put this thing together.  

Evidently, they must have bought the file tapes from the previous owner.  They’re advertising a 37-part special on the Simpson trial. But other than Anchor Vinnie, they seem not to have gathered the rest of the galaxy of stars that made the original Court TV a household nuisance. 

Watching it was like watching paint dry, alternating with people wetting down the paint to make sure it never dried.  

The real stars have been flung out of their heavenly positions and have landed in other parts of the universe.

Jane Velez-Mitchell:  Gone with the wind.  Polishing her awards from PETA?  Making the case for women who love women?  Running the JaneUnchaned News Network, whatever that is?

Jack Ford: Still viewable at CBS, sometimes PBS. 

Ashleigh Banfield: Played Katie to Jack Ford’s Bryant on Court TV, then CNN, then Headline News and now… um…

And the biggest of them all, the reprehensible Nancy Grace. She was most recently seen on Oxygen TV, one of those mostly-re-run channels you find at the nosebleed end of the cable/satellite TV dial.

In her day she was a big draw because she was brassy, opinionated, and just the perfect hell-raising, cut off disagreement commentator you love to hate.

About Vinnie:  He saw them sharpening the ax at the original court TV and got out before his neck was officially endangered.  Ch. 11 in Atlanta snapped him up.  And he stayed there until Katz came calling.

Katz is conveniently (for Vinnie) located in Atlanta, the town Ted Turner failed to turn first to Hollywood, then New York and now… well, Atlanta.

A fledgling pay-tv outlet struggles without a big name or two to trumpet.  So possibly wide “clearance,” can be an impossible dream. For example, the two major satellite networks don’t clear it. The Scripps TV Stations do, but there aren’t a lot of them and so the website offers readers an e-z form to fill out and badger your cable or satellite company.

Which you will do.  Which will result in … nothing.

They’re on Hulu, though. That’s at least something.

But they’ll soldier on, at least for a while.  They’ll stick cameras in the courtrooms to witness cases of little consequence and hope against hope for the next OJ, or Jody Arias or Casey Anthony, who also was known to viewers of Nancy Grace as Tot Mom.

In all likelihood, the Jury, you, will self instruct to ignore. 

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Comments? Send ‘em here: wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2019