Friday, April 28, 2006

Overheard

(76) Overheard

Travel isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. But traveling and eavesdropping at the same time can be amusing.

Herewith are some things overheard or over-seen or over-thought during some recent travels.

On the radio: ABC’s Anne Compton, commenting on the President’s traveling to a rally on immigration law: “…like David in the lion’s den.” Next St. Patrick’s Day, Ms. Compton may entertain us with her rendition of the famous Irish Ballad “O, David Boy.”

Response to a restaurant sign, “all you can eat:” “I can’t eat all I can eat.”

Sign on a delivery truck: “FedEx Ground,” provoking the question “will there soon be FedEx chopped?”

New Jersey woman: “If the Mexicans stage a boycott, who will cut my lawn?”

From Verizon in late March: “we will move your phone service and DSL from New York to Pennsylvania seamlessly on April 14th.” From Verizon on April 14th: “your DSL service will move on May 5th. Seems seamless, no?

From a gas station attendant in New Jersey: “This is New Jersey, you can’t pump your own gas, it’s not safe.” After which he answered his cell phone.

At a Subway Sandwich Shop: “the senior discount doesn’t apply to our subs or the meal packs.” So, what DOES it apply to?

On a cardboard replica of a gasoline pump, towed by a kid on a bicycle: “War is good for business.”

At a candy store on Broadway: “All candy 59 cents.” Just try to by all candy for 59 cents.

At an “instant oil change” franchise “we can finish that by tomorrow.”

On a tow truck “service 23 and a half hours a day.” When does he take that lunch break.

The 2007 Toyota Camry was on the road before May, 2006. Even by automotive standards, that’s early.

From the man in charge of the mechanically-challenged City Island Tram: “Our maintenance practices are just fine!” Practice a little more and maybe you won’t have any more of those 11 hour strandings over the river.

From the computer: “wireless networks detected.” Followed by “there are no wireless networks within receiving range.”

“No Exit.” This may be a highway sign or a book. Can’t be sure.

I'm Wes Richards, my opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.

(c) 2006 WJR

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