Cosmo Fells The Empire

168 Cosmo Fells the Empire

Poor Jerry Seinfeld. He had such a good game going, and now it’s over. He called it “a show about nothing.” What he didn’t mention that it also was a show starring no one. And Michael Richards (no relation) has proven it. A total nobody. He’s a shoddy actor who knows how to fall without hurting himself – at least physically. Now he’s a shoddy actor with no career on TV and no career in the clubs. And the Seinfeld Empire?

Re-runs? Who wants ‘em. DVDs? Who’s gonna play ‘em? More important, who’s gonna BUY ‘em? When Richards got up at the Laugh Factory in California and started berating black members of the audience mercilessly and in the most awful of racist terms, he brought down the whole shebang.

There’s no TV show without his character, Cosmo Kramer. And who can look at him after that tirade and not think of the home video that half the world has now seen in one form or another. The censored version ran on all the news programs and the uncensored version is easily available on the internet.

So Richards goes on Letterman, and says he’s not a racist. That’s kind of like the President going on Letterman and saying “I’m not a Republican.” (Or was it Nixon’s “I am not a crook” that is more appropriate here, since we KNOW what Dicky was.)

The gap between Letterman’s front teeth doubled in width as his guest’s words came out.

Had Richards let the “N-word” slip once during a battle with hecklers, he’d have been chided, and he’d have apologized and the whole thing would be over and the Empire would roll on. If he had made the statement before the TV show went into re-runs, someone would have slipped a speck of Polonium 210 in his drink and that would have been the end of him.

But Jerry and others are living off the re-run fees, and they are aplenty. “Seinfeld” is like “M*A*S*H,” “Star Trek” “Lucy” and “Law & Order.” There is an infinite appetite for repeat performances – or at least there was.

Mikey killed that in 2.5 minutes from the stage. A total nothing guy doing a total nothing standup at a total nothing comedy club.

Poor Jerry’ll have to go back to work, now. And who’s going to watch HIM and not think of Cosmo the Racist Idiot?

Maybe Fox will give Richards a book contract. He can call the thing “If I Did It, Here’s How.” If not, he’ll be flipping burgers at McDonald’s until the manager finds out who he is. After that, his only standup will be at a sliding electric door, and his only one liner will be “Hi, and welcome to Wal-Mart.”

I'm Wes Richards, my opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them. (c) 2006 WJR