The Spam That Ate Google

201 The Spam That Ate Google

The spam count has recently elevated to about 200 a day. This is only in one “account.” The others are relatively untouched by this recent burst. It can’t be just a few of us, else why would Gmail have installed a new feature to empty the spam box in one stroke instead of in individual excising?

They remain unopened. But it’s temping to look at some of them.

This one commands attention “Pizza Tasters Wanted.” The preview line: get free pizza for a year. This could be a windfall of saved money. Say you receive – oh, one pie a day.

That’s nearly 3,000 slices. Maybe they don’t deliver on Christmas and New Year’s Day, so subtract 16. But maybe they give you an extra for Garibaldi’s birthday or Columbus Day, or the anniversary of Mussolini’s assassination. So forget the subtraction. This is a tempting offer.

Right under that there’s a diet offering that will “Blow Hoodia away.” Seems like an odd coincidence. Oh, and that one’s followed by Orbit Medical announcing that it’s possible to “enjoy an active life again in a motorized wheel chair.” Cool.

Also to be learned is why sender “Chris” says “Kelly’s brother now knows more than you about profiting from the internet.” Fascinating.

“Bet-Zip” is offering free entry to an online poker game. Various other “senders” are offering free gift cards from Target, Wal-Mart, Toys R Us, Old Navy, American Airlines and Ikea.

There are several offers to work from home, several for credit cards (including one that’s been “issued” and is awaiting activation. There are loan offers, offers to increase or shrink various body parts, and something that’s “better than Botox” for wrinkles and “works instantly.”

The best of the bunch, though are those that come from senders with funny names (like “qp3bj\kjtfm”) and whose subject lines are in no known language (“shop with Imeno tak. Mne imusho tnga.”) Does anyone read this stuff?

Is someone paying spam-springs actual dollars to send this stuff out? Why is only this one particular e-mail address singled out.

Maybe Google is such a popular website that they single out Gmail addresses, especially because they offer more storage than anyone else and the recipient might not delete the ads?

Anyway, it’s better than having this stuff come through the regular mail. No carrier has to carry tons of this debris and wrench a shoulder sorting it at mailboxes. No trees die. And, with any luck, no business is transacted.

Now, some stray thoughts not worthy of a full 500 words, but still worth noting:

-“The Sopranos” is now on free cable, allowing the non-HBO subscribers among us the pleasure of watching it. It’s rrrrealllly boring.

-A large number of exhibits are planned to honor the late Robert Moses this year. But the real monument is the Cross-Bronx Expressway and the empty hulks of buildings that still line much of its length.

-Someone ought to extinguish the few among us who can’t take “yes” for an answer.

-Someone should make sure Papa and Baby Doc are really out of the picture. Washington’s getting to act like Port Au Prince.

I'm Wes Richards, my opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.

(c) 2007 WJR