Thursday, March 19, 2009

525 Thirty Minute Meals?

525 Thirty Minute Meals?

Ever catch those cooking shows on TV?  Rachael Ray?  Iron Chef?  Emeril?

Amazing how they whip up those wonderful meals in no time at all.

Rachael in particular, with her "30 minute meals."

Of course, she has all the stuff at hand and well in advance of the taping.  And indications are she does her own shopping, which is pretty unusual if you have a hit show.  In a half hour of TV, which is actually only about 22 minutes, she puts together some of the most interesting and delicious stuff you can either imagine eating or actually eat. 

What we never see on any of these shows is what happens after the meal's done and eaten.

Someone ought to do a cooking broadcast called "The 30 Minute Cleanup."  Except it wouldn't be 30 minutes.  It would be much longer.

Thirty minutes to prepare, another 30 to eat.  And the rest of the night you're taking Brillo to pots and Dawn Foamy to plates and heaven knows what to ovens and stoves and flatware.

Of course, every stove in America doubles as a storage space.  It's where you keep the pots and pans and bowls that don't fit anywhere else.   So to use the oven, you have to first unload it.  (This doesn't count in the 30 minute prep time.)

Then, when finished, you have to let the thing cool down (it doesn't get cool enough during the length of time you're eating what you cooked, no matter how long you linger at the table with your demitasse or brandy.)  Then there's cleaning the oven.  Then there's re-packing the oven with the pots and pans and bowls that don't fit anywhere else.

Dishes?  We've all learned not to use the dishwasher in these days of high energy costs, so that, too, serves as storage space.   Plus loading and unloading it is almost as time consuming as hand washing the stuff.

Do Rachael or Emeril clean their own messes?  Of course not.  First, there's likely a contract with the stage hands that barely lets some of the TV chefs cook.  Cleaning?  Out of the question.  If Food Network is a non-union shop, there still are people cleaning up after the stars.

At home, you are both the star and the stage hand.


Shrapnel:

--Is everything out of Bernie Madoff's mouth a lie?  Apparently so.  Latest bean counting indicates his fortune is not 800-million as claimed, but something like, well, zero.

--Bernie should have taken a part time job with AIG.  Then he would probably be worth more than zero.  Maybe as much as 4 million more, or even six.

--At least there's something of an upside to being burned by Bernie.  You get an extra tax break.  And you get a free dinner at Nino's, which is worth more than the latest reading of Bernie's assets (but, of course, some restrictions apply-- when don't they?)

I'm Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.®
©WJR 2009

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