767 Dancing With the Stars

767 Dancing With the Stars

The only way the Democratic Party will hold onto its majorities is by cancelling the election and holding a dance contest instead.

The model should be the TV program "Dancing With the Stars," ABC's worthiest contribution to American Culture.

This is not something that could have happened during the "real" era of the party. C'mon, guys, FDR was a cripple. JFK had horrible back pain. No one can imagine Truman on a modern day dance floor. He might have been better than Tom Dewey, but maybe not good enough. Carter? Only if it was a square dance. Mondale? Oh, please! It wasn't until Clinton that Democrats were able to do such things as are required of ABC's contestants.

Obama? Pelosi? Cuomo? All great candidates once the music starts. Can you imagine the prim Mrs. Palin getting out there and doing the "hully gully" or even the Twist? Nah. Ann Coulter, maybe. But not Sarah. Certainly not some of the other mental and physical fossils the Republicans are running. Boehner? Newt? Their best dancers have been either under at home detention or are living in exile in Argentina. It might be fun to guess about Larry Craig's partner, but we'll never see that.

It's just too bad the Dems lost John Edwards. He was a potential rock 'n' roll winner. Again, there's a partner issue. But...

So, what, you may ask, does the ability to dance have to do with governing? Why EVERYTHING, darling. The whole thing is a damned dance. Legislation, treaties, appointments, cabinets, kitchen cabinets, executive orders, supreme court decisions. It's all dancing. And the Dems dance with greater grace and vigor than the opponents. At least in general.

So let's find a good band or at least a decent DJ. Line up the candidates under a banner, "Wiggle and Win!"

Or maybe we should choose "American Idol," with Michael Savage playing the role of Simon Cowell. The betting is Michelle Obama can belt out a pretty good National Anthem. But where's Margaret Truman when we need her?

Shrapnel:

--Hungarian Red Sludge on the Blue Danube? How poetic. Red Sludge is a byproduct of making Aluminum, something most of the rest of us had learned to properly get rid of a zillion years ago.

--Latest statistics show sales are up but job creation is down. So what's with the companies that get tax breaks to create jobs? And who among the jobless is doing all that buying?

--If you're reading this in Chna, you may have some problems with the following news item which has been blacked out there.

BEIJING (AP) -- Imprisoned Chinese democracy campaigner Liu Xiaobo on Friday won the Nobel Peace Prize - an award that immediately inspired China's political dissidents and drew furious condemnation from the authoritarian government. They can black out the AP, and maybe this. But not your telephones, so let freedom (and our phones) ring!

I'm Wes Richards. My opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.®

©WJR 2010