776 Return Those Calls

776 Return Those Calls

Notice that people just don't return phone calls these days. Even when it means money in the bank. You order something from a store. They tell you it'll be in, say, Tuesday "and we'll call you." Times can't be as tough as everyone says if merchants are not telling their customers when their orders arrive.

The old joke "have your secretary call my secretary and we'll set up a lunch date" never meant what it said. Plus no one has a secretary anymore -- only an assistant. This was the kind of call everyone involved knew was not going to be made. Jimmy Carter took phone calls on radio or TV and when he didn't have an answer he promised his callers he'd find out and call them back. That's what he did. Today, you call someone, you get voicemail, you leave a message. You don't get called back.

Doctor to patient: "I'll call you next Monday with the results of your tests." Don't hang out waiting for that call.

Friend to friend: "I'll call you next time I'm in town." Don't hang out waiting for that one, either.

Ah, you say... this is the age of electronic mail and text messages. So what about that e-mail you sent the public works department about the pothole in your street? It's now late October. The note went out last February. No reply yet. And the pothole's still there. Maybe they're all dead. Nah. If they were, the mailbox would be full and you'd get an automated note about that. Machinery sometimes DOES return messages even if the accompanying data are meaningless.

No one texts like teenagers. But that's another story. It's a habit they'll break before they're out of puberty. Or at least most of them will. Let's hope. Because the next thing that's bound to happen is the dialect of American English they use will become an actual part of the language. On the other hand, perhaps they can harness that to send secret messages the Iranians won't understand, once we get into THAT war.

C U 2MORO. BBN.

That's "see you tomorrow. Bye by now." It's not exactly "Bomb Tehran," but this lingo will evolve.

Shrapnel:

--Remembering Emma McClain, may she rest. Sunday upcoming would be her 97th birthday. Here's hoping heaven is what she expected -- it's certainly what she deserved.

--You'd think that after almost 60 years of playing guitar, the changing of strings would become less tedious and more routine. It hasn't. Maybe another few years and it won't be such a horrid task.

--Madison Avenue figures you have the attention span of a fruit fly, which is why there are so many 15 second commercials these days. Plus they're a lot cheaper to produce than anything longer. No more 60s, relatively few 30s, a whole slew of 20s and all those 15s leads us to think the next Big Thing will be the five second spot.

I'm Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you're welcome to them.®

©WJR 2010