791 Marcus Lamb
The Lamb of God, he's not. Marcus Lamb is a pipsqueak television preacher -- another pipsqueak television preacher --
who couldn't keep his fly zipped. He is a slim guy with a craggy Texas face and a Snidely Whiplash mustache with that plastic southern sincerity that guys in his line of work wear like the cheap suits they also wear. He is married to a round and beefy woman, Joni, with a look of at least middling intelligence in her eyes. They do a show together and apparently it's pretty successful.
It is so successful, in fact, that some blackmailers came a long and said "okay, Snidely and your roly-poly-Joni, fork over seven million dollars and we'll keep our mouths shut." This, we call blackmail. So, now what? Pay off the blackmailers who never will stop demanding more or go public, admit the affair and not "use God's money" to pay them off. Which presumes that "God" had enough bucks in Lamb's bank to pay the freight. So, good for him. Way to go, Lamby, babes. Better response than from, say, Jimmy Swaggart, Aimee Semple McPherson or Garner Ted and Herbert W. Armstrong.
Guys who preach the Seventh Commandment and then, after a personal discussion with God or Jesus or their barber, give themselves an exemption. "I screwed her and I'm sorry." Good for business. And evangelism is nothing if not a business.
So, what will we see of this guy's "ministry?" Hard to tell, but the odds-makers are figuring on an income downturn, at least temporarily. So what should we make of this? The same thing we made of Thomas Jefferson and Presidents Franklin Roosevelt, Dwight Eisenhower, John Kennedy and Bill Clinton: The energy that drives guys to the top drives them into the "arms," to be gentle about it, of attractive, or even unattractive but willing women. Basically, so what. But be open about it and let the voters and parishioners decide what to do or not do about it.
Marcus was nobody before all this and he's still nobody. His followers, no doubt, are all a-twitter. His forgiving wife is sober and sincere, at least in public.
Get caught again (like Swaggart,) and Roly-Poly will grill his organ of reproduction, put it on a hot dog bun with mustard and relish, and then take to the pulpit herself.
At least there was no televised crying jag.
--Then, there's Julian Assange, the Aussie guy who founded Wiki Leaks. He's in the hot seat for posting those damaging cables, but it's tough to stop something like that. And just coincidentally, he's on the, um, Lamb, from authorities who accuse him of rape, which makes one wonder about what's really going on here.
--The local superintendent of schools here in Mount Tantamount was in a traffic stop the other day and was charged with driving while intoxicated. The traffic stop was at eight o'clock on a weekday morning. Makes one wonder what's really going on here.
--Doesn't everyone realize what the tea party freaks are showing? It's exactly the same mud they hurl at liberals. They hate America and are trying to destroy it.
I'm Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you're welcome to them.®