Monday, February 11, 2013

1134 Technology Fever

1134 Technology Fever

Technology.  Everything has technology.  While this is true, it's only recently that anyone -- make that everyone-- seems to have to say so. Maybe it's a substitute for "latest" or "newest" or something that includes innovation that the others lack.

But c'mon guys.  Technology is fine when you apply the description to things like LCD lightbulbs or the latest flat screen TV or even those awful and distracting computerized controls in the new cars.  But laundry detergent? Tooth brushes?  

Did you know, for example, that Tink’s B-Tech laundry detergent uses “Byotrol Technology?”  Bet not.  Becha don’t know what that is and that probably you’ve never heard of Byotrol Technology.  Other obscure brands have other technologies.  

Okay, how about a brand you HAVE heard of.  Oxyclean uses oxygen bleach technology.  Not just oxygen bleach, mind you, but oxygen bleach TECHNOLOGY.

Back in 1914 when Proctor & Gamble came up with its very first detergent they called it Oxydol.  Guess what?  Yep, oxygen bleach.  No technology.  Just oxygen bleach.

A well known hair brush uses Gemstone technology to make its bristles.  It’s a hairbrush, fer cryin’ out loud.  The “technology” involved is attaching crushed Tourmaline and silicon.  Granted it’s more high tech than pig bristles or nylon, c’mon.  Don’t sell your Intel shares.

Wella hair dye features “ShineGuard Technology” whatever that is.
Bounty Towels have “trap and lock” technology.

The office supply boutique Levenger uses the word on nearly every page of its catalog.  But only because it struggles to create and then meet the need for binders and covers for your iPad or phone while basically it grinds out stuff for use in the offices of 1910.


Now, what kind of animal is missing from this technology-crazed crowd?  Why, it’s actual technology companies! You never see the word in an ad for Microsoft or Intel or Apple, LG, Sony, or Boeing.  Why not?

Corporate analyst Anka Blanca of Slivovitz Strategic Partners in Prestina, Illinois says “it’s because it’s self evident.”

Every company boasts of technology except technology companies?

So here we have another word that will soon lose its meaning.  It’s right up there with “solution,” “premium” and “awesome.”

Shrapnel:

--Speaking of technology, here’s the latest from The Other Wes on the Wes Coast who says his favorite thing about weather reporters is how much they're pushing high definition. Do I really need to see the fog snow and rain in HD...  HD fog? What's next, HD pitch black and HD static?

--The pope is taking early retirement at 85, citing age and infirmity, the first to step down since the 1400s.  Here’s a refresher for smoke watchers: White means we found our guy, black means we’re still looking.  For reservations call Ticketmaster and remember, both Rome and Vatican City have anti scalping laws.

--Senate Republicans, in a show of true patriotism, have figured out a way to gut the Consumer Protection agency and the SEC, two arms of the government that actually get the job done.  In doing that, they make life tough and costly for some of the parties biggest supporters, the banking and securities industries. Great news, because for a while it looked like the bankers and brokers were going to have to play straight with us … and what fun is that?


I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2013

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