They make non-stick cookware, they make non-stick oil sprays. They make non-stick shaving cream. Everywhere you turn... non-stick.
When, though, will they make non-stick honey? What’s the matter with today’s bees and beekeepers? You’d think they’d find a way to make the stuff so you can use some honey today and not break your hands or run half a tank of hot water trying to open the same jar tomorrow. Squirt bottles don’t help, the ones in the shape of cute little bears. They gum up the same as any bottle, though they don’t gum up your hands when you squirt them. Aerosol honey might be a good compromise.
Non-stick peanut butter would be a help, too. So would plastic wrap that doesn’t stick to itself to the point where you waste half the roll trying to pry the layers apart.
And if modern industry wants to create new non-stick products, they have an easy place to start looking: the adhesive business.
Gorilla Glue, Krazy Glue and plain old fashioned horse glue do a fine job. Sometimes, too fine. With Krazy and its imitators you find your fingers stuck together but the china plate you’re trying to mend laughs at you and remains in pieces. Still, much of the world of adhesives is non-stick.
“Sticky notes,” especially the off brand ones, often don’t stick. How many times have you said “I know I put a note on the wall here and it just vanished,” only to find it two years later under something.
Envelopes: either they don’t close completely or the sponge water or saliva you use to close it pokes through everything and shows up as a blotch on the front.
When Testors found out kids were sniffing their glue -- which held, by the way -- they changed the formula. Same with Duco. Today’s model planes often mimic those old airliners whose wings fell off in mid air.
Mid price furniture falls apart in dry climates. Ditto stringed instruments, including pianos.
So let’s hear it for non-stick honey and a return of the glue that used to bind us together as Americans.
--Tough luck, Court TV fans... the five of you who stuck with the channel when it turned into TruTV. They’ve cut their live trial coverage by ⅔ and moved it to nine in the morning in the middle of a high profile case that runs on Arizona time. And now we get endless reruns of such scintillating fare as “Lizard Lick Towing,” “Full Throttle Saloon” and “Forensic Files” for the rest of the day, until the early morning hours when Tony Robbins and Lee Press-on nails infomercials take over.
--Dr. Drew, Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil. All worth avoiding. Nancy Grouse, Jane Velez-Bitchell likewise. Maybe they can lure Jerry Springer, Maury, “Steve” and “Duck Dynasty” to their channel to up the intellectual level.
--Semi annual rant, a little earlier than usual. This coming Sunday morning, we will move the clocks ahead to daylight saving time. Saving, not savings.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to firstname.lastname@example.org
© WJR 2013
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