Wednesday, January 01, 2014

1273 Resolutions

1273 Resolutions

First, happy New Year. Now, about those resolutions:

How many have you already broken?  Or are you too hungover to count.

It’s not clear that drinking in the new year has been around that long, but resolutions certainly have been.

The ancient Babylonians made new year’s resolutions and that was almost four thousand years ago.

The Romans did the same.  Can we figure out what some of them might have been?  

“This year I will change the oil in my chariot every 3,000 times I pass the statue of Cossuiticus.”

“I will wash my toga on the birthday of Nero every year.”

So new year’s resolutions have been around for EVER.

And probably not kept any better in ancient times than they are now.

You’ve resolved to lose 25 pounds.  You’ve resolved to renew and use your gym membership.  Really. Truly. You’ve resolved to stop smoking.  You’ve resolved to be on time for work.  You’ve resolved to greet each person with a smile.

The list goes on… also for EVER.

There aren’t many people who keep many resolutions.  A show of hands, now.

How many of you who swore on a stack of iPads to drop ten pounds actually dropped ten pounds?

Yeah. Thought so.  It’s like as soon as the words are out of your mouth or onto your list you do everything to subvert yourself.

Oh, Dr. Freud, “why do I do that?”

How long before you just can’t drag your sorry tail to the health club?

Anyway, I try as hard as the next guy to keep my resolutions.

This year, I resolve to gain 15 pounds, find a brand of cigar that stinks up the room so badly even Air Wick by the gallon can’t cover the odor.  I resolve to exercise less, hit the gas when I pass the gym, drink more coffee, drink more beer and take longer afternoon naps.

At least I can keep most of these.

Well, maybe not the 15 pounds part.  But eight or ten are a sure thing. Gotta think big while daydreaming.


--This site tries to find connections between and among apparently unrelated events.  But so far, one has been elusive.  There seems no way to combine the health care website rollout, Benghazi, the death of Vince Foster, Obama’s birth certificate, Watergate and the obesity epidemic.

--A friend is charged almost $20-thousand a week for chemo.  A kid from California gets a hospital bill for $55-thousand for routine surgery, and is left with an $11-thousand copay his insurance doesn’t cover.  Used to be when you had that stuff done, the hospital at least gave you a new infection as a kind of bonus… and maybe they still do.

--Among the stupid things congress actually did in 2013 was to cut the tax break commuters get for using mass transit.  Time reports the average has gone from $245 to $130.  Spreading the war against the poor to include what’s left of the middle class.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
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© WJR 2104

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