Wednesday, February 04, 2015

1442 Gluten Free Kale

Wessays™ is clinically proven to work as promised.

Allergy Alert: This blog post was written in a facility that processes soybeans, wheat flour and nuts of the two-legged and no-legged kind.  

Actually, all kale is gluten free.  So is all broccoli.

Phew. For a moment it looked like we were going to make a phony claim like “Kale tastes awful and so does broccoli.”  Perish forbid. Or kale will cure impotence, incontinence, plantar warts, impetigo, bunions and memory loss and when combined with broccoli will improve digestion, increase circulation and obliterate acne.

No, for those problems, you arrive at a fork in the road.  One branch leads to an actual doctor.  The other leads to the supplement aisle at MegaMart or Bullseye Stores or your local health food market’s homeopathic potions counter.

Uh, oh.  There’s a roadblock on that potions fork.  The New York Times reports the New York State Attorney General has demanded those retailers and GNC remove some supplements from their shelves forthwith.

Why?  Because they’re filled with junk but not with what the labels say is in them.  According to the AG’s complaint, every one of them has to go because every one of them is filled with mostly filler: garlic, rice, radish, wheat and other stuff.  The other stuff is harmless.  

But when there’s no Ginkgo Biloba in the ginkgo biloba capsule, some people might be misled into believing there is.  Especially if the nutrition facts chart says there is.

This shouldn’t surprise anyone.  What is surprising that anyone buys this stuff in the first place.

These lotions and potions are big business.  And for the most part, they don’t do anything.  Even though they all cite “clinical studies.”

No layman is sure about what a clinical study really is.
So here’s how some of them work:

  1. You bring a bottle of EnerGize into the clinic. You ask the clinician “what is this?”
  2. The clinician answers “it appears to be a bottle of EnerGize. Yes, that’s exactly what it is!”
  3. You ask “does this stuff work?”
  4. The clinician answers “How would I know.”
  5. You give the clinician a copy of the small print leaflet and he or she reads it.
  6. The clinician says “if all this is in these capsules there’s a good chance you’ll get a small short term energy boost.”
  7. You put out an ad that says “Clinically proven to boost energy!!!!” Or “Clinical tests show this stuff works!!!!”

In today’s world it’s unlikely you’re going to convince our free market government types to inspect, test and regulate this junk.  So you have to be your own FDA.  And the only action you can take legally is to leave these things on the store shelf.

If you have a physical problem, maybe you should take the other tine in that fork.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.  Wessays™ is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.  Consult your mental health care professional before using.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2015

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