Wednesday, July 01, 2015

1506 Chris Christie's Weight Problem

It’s not his rotunditude, his suit size or whether he breaks a common bathroom scale by simply standing on it.  For all his size and girth, the man is a flyweight.  And a bully.  And just another political hack, but with a good gimmick.


The famously “moderate” Republican governor of New Jersey is no moderate.  And no President.  And possibly the only New Jerseyan on earth who figured no one would notice manufactured traffic jams at the Fort Lee side of the George Washington Bridge.


(It’s not an entrance, people. It’s an exit. Ordinarily impatient New York area drivers are waiting on US-80 to flee Jersey, and while still ill tempered, they’re tough and determined, and thus more patient than one would expect.)


We like a little swagger in our Presidents.  But just a little.  And while Chris brings off the imitation of a 14 year old high schooler better than some other candidates have, his shtick remains an imitation of a 14 year old high schooler.


We like our candidates to get around.  But Chris has spent maybe half of his second term traveling.  Raising money for his party, showing his face in places where they endorse candidates relatively early. That’s too much time.


It’s okay that he likes the Dallas Cowboys and attended a game on someone else’s dime.  But when was the last time you saw him at a Jets game in East Rutherford?


Oh… and of course that Dallas visit has nothing -- absolutely nothing -- to do with the team’s owner getting a lush contract with the Port Authority, the bi-state agency controlled from Trenton and Albany.


Like the other cartoon candidates (you know who you are!) Christie is relying on bluster and blindness (his own and others’) to win friends and influence voters.


And we love bullies as long as it’s not OUR lunch he’s demanding at the point of a baseball bat.  But times are tough in New Jersey.  So Christie wants to expand the schoolyard to all 50 states.


But he’s a moderate, you say.  A moderate bully is someone who steals only half your sandwich. Oh, and the apple.


But this is a guy who thinks he can eliminate the competition by sitting in their laps.  The surprise? He has no weight to throw around.


You want a big man in the White House?  Fine. Write in Hulk Hogan or Fats Domino.  Because underneath all those acres of skin and chins, is a small man with a big mouth and a lot of hot air.


Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.


Shrapnel:


--Here’s to Ed Baer, New York’s most frequently frequented fill-in disc jockey who has finally decided to retire after about 80 million programs on practically every radio station you can think of.  He even had a full time job (WHUD) for about 30 years. And everyone who knows him says the nice guy (or Good Guy since he was one of those on WMCA) he’s played on the air for all this time is the real Ed.


I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2015

1 comment:

Wes Richards said...

Forget the Hulk Hogan reference in the penult graf. 7/30/15