1542 They Can't Help Themselves

1542  They Can’t Help Themselves

Who can’t help what they are? Lots of people.  But since this is the political season (when isn’t it?) we can and should focus on politicians.

Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt.  Let’s say the politicians become politicians because they want to improve things… the country, state, city, county, village. Whatever.

Let’s also say that at root they’re no less intelligent or less rational than the average person.

But once they’ve mounted a successful campaign and taken office they are like drug addicts and serial killers:  they have to have more just to feel neutral.

What they do as politicos is less important than what they say about it.  And it’s the saying more than the doing that KOs them in the early rounds.

The most recent glaring example of this came from Republican-turned-Democrat Lincoln Chafee. At the very beginning of his appointment to the Senate, he told fellow debate participants and watchers that he voted to deregulate banks -- an error, he now says -- because it was his first vote and his father had just died. Guess he didn’t read the part of the New Senator’s Handbook that says you don’t have to vote on every bill.  Especially when you don’t know what your vote or the bill means.

But it came out sounding like “The dog ate my homework.”  And you can bet it will form the icing on his farewell cupcake, the one that’s 8.5 cm in diameter by 9 cm tall.

But this is just one example.  You need more? It’s easy enough to find. Here’s a start: Gary Hart, Ross Perot, Richard Nixon, Lyndon Johnson.

People say dumb stuff all the time. Should we penalize them just for that?  In the case of politicians and corporate spinmeisters, yes, for sure.  Why?  Because these fakers have deep and long lasting influence on your life.

Looking at the current list of disabled presidential wannabes: Some people take Dr. Clueless seriously or at least more seriously than the previous Oreo because he’s a man of accomplishment… did something more than just building a chain of mediocre pizza joints.

Some people take the two women more seriously than in the past… one because she has a famous husband and did more as first lady than, say, Highway Beautification.  The other because she ran two major tech corporations into the ground, killed the stock and ruined the brands.  We like bad girls and Ronda Rousey isn’t old enough to run.

A northern governor who runs his state like it’s a backwater speed trap in Georgia. Two affirmative action Latinos with no experience and no grasp of reality.

A blowhard billionaire with an empire built like a house of cards and who has a pre-Christmas Ebenezer Scrooge chip on his shoulder.

A pathetic ex governor who fell from a famous family apple tree wormhole side up.  A couple of senators or ex senators caught wandering in the street and when ordered onto the sidewalk obeyed the cop and thus survived.

A dreamy hippie with a hunting rifle.  And possibly a likeable buffoon who can’t leave his foot out of his mouth for more than one consecutive sentence.

Fine lot you are, folks.  One of these people is going to be our president.  Heaven help us!

Where’s the ballot spot for “none of the above?”

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2015