Friday, December 04, 2015

1573 Disease Control

1573 Disease Control

(Note to hypersensitive types herein mentioned and their clipping services and legal departments: This post is satire.)

It’s a vast conspiracy.  There are people out there… well educated people hiding behind advanced degrees who want to take away your right -- your God given right -- to have cancer. Your constitutional right.

And they are backed by big money.  Look at the organizations that run this battering of your freedom!  The American Cancer Society.  The American Lung Association. The American Diabetes Association.  And it’s not just the organized America haters who join in. It’s companies like Roche, and Novartis and AstraZeneca.

And hospitals! Hospitals, fer cryin’ out loud.  And car companies and motorcycle helmet makers.  They sneak in all that complicated crap… airbags, seat belts, crumple zones.  It’s a conspiracy.  They want to take away your constitutional right to kill yourself and others in a crash.

If someone wants you dead, cancer is only one tool.  But that’s all it is.  A tool.  Look at the statistics, cancer deaths vs. other causes.  Auto accidents. Heart attacks, falling pianos.  Rocks, fists, potholes.  Cellphones, x-rays, and those spring-from-the-ground utility poles that seem to pop up when you’re drunk and can’t react fast enough to avoid walking into them.

All this to deprive you of your right to have cancer or strokes or even walking in front of a bus.  You’re an American, dammit, and no one has the right to stop you just because a bunch of do gooder drug companies, doctors and politically correct liberal phonies are trying to control your disease.

Of course, you say, the associations and institutions and corporations that would imprison you can’t make laws.

Right.

It takes members of congress to outlaw stuff.  What’s the going rate for a vote?  How much to buy your Senator outright?


Shrapnel:

--Seriously, people, the gun murders have to stop. And the people who say cars kill more people than guns -- statistically correct -- don’t think about how many more would die if we didn’t test and license drivers.

--Hunters are up in arms because they think “we” are trying to take their guns away. Disgusting as the habit is, no one’s trying to do that.  But maybe you don’t need full auto to pick off groundhogs.

Grapeshot:

-It’s cheap and easy to demonize all muslims for the acts of some, but the fact remains that a terrorist without a gun is just another loudmouth in the street.

-It’s equally cheap and easy to demonize our culture of avarice, but we don’t tell others how they should live… at least not on our own shores.

-It’s cheap and easy to lie about how we’re being overrun by terrorists masquerading as refugees, but the vetting takes years and we won’t be risking much by admitting a few thousand.

-No one demands you love your Syrian neighbors, just that you give them the same break you’d hope for if our lives were reversed.


I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2015

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