Friday, April 29, 2016

1636 Stop Me if You’ve Heard This One

Presidential hasbeen Rafael (Dead Ted) Cruz has announced his choice for a vice presidential running mate.  


The envelope, please.


And the winner is… (fanfare)


Carly Fiorina
Yes, the lovely and talented Carly reared her lovely head, looking even more like Hillary Clinton after a six month Nutrisystem binge with overtones of Nancy Reagan, or maybe Margaret Hamilton.


Rafael has little chance of becoming the nominee.  And here he is, strutting about with his “running mate.”


In past years, we have had plenty to say about Carly and some of it’s worth repeating.  So here is the part you may have heard before from about a year ago when she hadn’t yet sought the nomination and was then called “Getting to Know Carly Fiorina:


If you want a woman president just because “it’s about time,” but you hate Hillary, you’ll love Carly.


Carly “the destroyer” Fiorina turned two of the world’s most important tech companies into unintentional non- profits then ran for Barbara Boxer’s Senate seat in California and lost.  Her main asset?  Well, aside from wrecking a couple of major corporations, she doesn’t often bother to vote.  A real political scientist. Study the subject to death, but don’t DO anything.


We first came to know of Fiorina when she was running Lucent, the successor to the fabled Bell Labs, founded by Alexander Graham Bell. Its scientists won eight Nobel Prizes, produced the first transistor and the optical router among other things.  Many other things.


On her watch, Lucent stock lost half its value and later was acquired by Alcatel for chump change.


Then, Fiorina fell up and was named CEO of Hewlett Packard.  Fortunately for him, co founder, David Packard was dead by that time. The other founder, Bill Hewlett, followed his friend to the grave a few years later.  We’re unsure whether there’s a connection. But he lived long enough to know that the masterstroke hiring of Fiorina was something he couldn’t live with.


(In the event that you think this is an anti-woman diatribe, note that the present head of HP, Meg Whitman, is doing a fine job… as she did at eBay.)


Fiorina is the anti- Hillary.  She says as Secretary of State Clinton accomplished nothing. Fine person to disparage non- accomplishment.


Fiorina is not running “on (my) sex.”  Oh?
Actually, she’s not running at all.  Yet.  But she did spend the weekend in New England, and it wasn’t because she’s a Barry Manilow fan.  She’s also visited Iowa, that bastion of political Me First excellence and its southern soul mate, South Carolina.


She’ll declare this spring.  And figure she’ll be doing what she’s been doing in the campaign so far, bashing Clinton and not much else.  


She figures she’ll neutralize the lone woman angle if both she and Clinton are nominated. Please remove your blinders, ladies.


Voters in both parties deserve better than they have been offered so far.  On the Republican side: A couple of inexperienced unseasoned senators, two huckster governors, two huckster ex- governors. Oh, and Trump.


On the Democratic side a former first lady nobody likes, an aging “independent” Senator with good ideas and no way to make any one of them real, a couple of present or former state officials of such low wattage they should be packaged as energy saving light bulbs.


Makes you long for the good old days of political giants like Walter Mondale, Ross Perot, Bob Dole, Ralph Nader, John Anderson and George Wallace.


But of Carly we can only say it wasn’t enough she killed two companies that didn’t need to die and now she wants to be President? In hockey, they call three goals by one player in one game a “hat trick.”  


Laurence Peter would be proud.


Today’s Quote:
--“I have never worked with a more miserable sonofabitch in my life.” -- Former House Speaker John Boehner, asked about failed presidential hopeful Rafael “Ted” Cruz.


I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2015, 2016

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