Monday, February 26, 2018

1910 Ms. Gimbel’s Carry Bag


Swattin’ Tommy who is not a coward and isn’t afraid to enter a school with only a LadySmith pistol to face a crazed kid firing non stop with a gun that belongs in the 64th St. Armory not in the hands of a civilian. You know, maybe like the guy in Parkland, Florida.

And at first, S.T. as he’s known to his fellow cops, thought trump had a grand idea when he said teachers should be armed.  But when he thought about it for awhile, he realized there was a flaw and changed his mind.

Here is the flaw he found.  You’re a cop. There’s a maniac on the loose and he has one of those guns that holds 4,000 rounds and when you hold the trigger it keeps firing until the barrel melts and the stock catches fire.  Okay.  You can spot one those pretty fast.  He’s the young looking one with a twisted smirk and big vacant eyes. And he has that gun and is firing it.

But if the teachers were armed and shooting back -- and by mistake shooting at each other, how would S.T. know who was who?  He could shoot a young looking teacher thinking that was the invading kid.

Over at Hunter College on Lexington Avenue they have a history of preparing people to teach school. Once they admitted only girls. Once they did not charge tuition. It’s where a lot of teachers who have since retired got their first glimpses of the real world in the profession of teaching. No one at Hunter College of the City University of New York would respond to the question “are you adding firing range time to your required courses?”  Probably they haven’t. Probably they won’t.

Ms. Gimbel the math teacher may think otherwise.  She carries that giant carry bag.  Surely some weapon of some weight could fit in it without making a public show.  Oh, but then she’d have to leave the thing out in the open where some kid could grab it while she was writing an equation on the chalkboard. In mid-height heels, Ms. Gimbel stands 4’11.5” above ground level.  She admits to weighing 102 pounds.  Not a good match for Moose and Hunk, the 3rd period twins who each weigh twice what she does and stand a head and a half taller.

Ms. Gimbel will not, therefore, put a gun in her carry bag. Taking care of --aiming at -- Moose and Hunk.  That’s Swatin’ Tommy’s job.

SPONSORED CONTENT:

Today’s post is sponsored in part by Arm-a-teach.com.  

Attention all teachers!  Hey, Teach! With trump’s bonus in the works take advantage of our special academic discounts.  Arm-a-teach has the lowest prices on the net.  Whether you need something simple like the George Jones model (“Hotter than a two dollar pistol,”) something a little larger like the Elmer Fudd Duckhunter blunderbuss or some real heavy artillery like the very same AK-15 used by Russian Army peacekeepers in Ukraine, Belarus and Crimea, we can fill your firearm and ammo needs.

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Be the Good Guy with a Gun when the next puppy- beheading, turtle stomping, bird wing breaking retard takes aim at your kids.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
All sponsored content on this site is parody.
© WJR 2018


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