Friday, June 29, 2018

1963 Fall Fashion Supreme Court Style

So far, it’s only a rumor, white robes for the Supreme Court justices.  And people in the know deny it.  But Wessays (™) has learned that with the upcoming 6-3 majority, the measurements are being taken and the bids will soon go out.

Traditional judicial robes are black.  But a source close to Chief Justice John “Vertigo” Roberts says “some of our justices thought it might be a good time for a change.”

We polled the current justices.  Here are the results:

Chief Justice Roberts:  Did not respond.

Associate Justice Ginsburg: “I am having my clerk block your email”

Associate Justice Breyer: “I’m on the fence about this one. Get back to me over the summer.”

Associate Justice Alito: “I strongly support the right of Supreme Court justices to choose the color of their robes. I lean white.”

Associate Justice Gorsuch: “This is complex. I can’t rush to judgment.  I will have to consult my law book. Oh. Ruthie, while you’re up would you mind getting me a cup of coffee?  Extra light. Three sugars.”

Associate Justice Sotomayor: “I don’t comment on cases we may have to decide.”

Associate Justice Kagan: “I don’t care. But I think Sonia would look really svelte in white.”

Associate Justice Thomas: “Do I get to wear the hood in the ‘hood?”

Associate Justice Kennedy: “What was the question again?

So Kennedy is set to retire.  And then whoever we get will be the worst of Thomas, Scalia, Gorsuch, Alito and Roberts.

Legal note: You don’t have to be a lower court judge to be on the Supreme court. In fact you don’t even need to be a lawyer.

This leaves the field open to such great minds as Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage, Steve Bannon and Bill O’Feely.... Uh, O’Reilly.

And since David Koch has retired from decades of good works in the public interest he may be available.  Since the Rehnquist era the workload has been lighter than air.  So Dave probably wouldn’t be over-taxed. (Plus not being over taxed is a multi-generational and possibly genetic characteristic.)

Before it takes off for the summer, the present court is leaving us with some Judge-On-Crack decisions.

--You can’t learn about abortion from some entity that calls itself a “Pregnancy Crisis Center.”

--If you don’t like to join a union, you can freeload its bargaining prowess and worker rights by not paying a fee in lieu of dues.

--If you’re in the right tribe you can give limitless amounts of money to political candidates as long as they promise something of equal value in return if elected.

--You’re welcome to visit or even become a citizen as long as you’re not Mexican or Muslim.

It’s all part of the ongoing plan to dismantle the America normal people of every stripe have worked the last 80-something years to build.  What further damage can they do?  Don’t look for answers here. We don’t have the kind of mind that can dream up this kind of tearing down.

--J.B. Writes from Nashua NH to ask whether there really a move is afoot to change the title “Chief Justice” to “Imperial Wizard.  None that we are aware of.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
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© WJR 2018

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