Get one of these for your basement and you, too can
become a podcast star. Available at Gimbels, EJ Korvette, Radio Shack and
other fine stores.
They’re too long.
They’re too late. Most have no adult supervision and why do you listen?
Do you remember the
cartoon with two dogs sitting at a computer and one says to the other, “On the
Internet, no one knows you’re a dog.”? Now they do. Every computer has a
camera. But it doesn’t matter if you’re a dog. Someone will listen.
Every computer now has a microphone.
Dogwhistles abound on
the internet (no longer capitalized in the punctuation of the peasantry.)
Anyone can post.
What’s you’re
pleasure? The candidacy for Grand Poohbah of the Glorious Knights of the
Kentucky Klan? Or the leader of the “Bring Back the Soviet Union”
consortium of West Leningrad, FL?
How about 20 or 25
minutes of This Day in Lithuanian History. Or the Wolfgang Puck method of
heat-free cooking? Or how to get the sauce off the ceiling when your pressure
cooker explodes?
Some podcasts take on
the trappings of a CNN or MSNBC or Fox News Gabfest. Would you like half
an hour of some washed up never-was comedian with a chorus of yea-sayers
selling the do-it-yourself Reiki Massage Course?
A close relative
suggested that these posts get supplemented with a podcast. Do you really
want to hear an old guy blabbing on about Jerry Sandusky or entropy the haunted
bars of central Pennsylvania or the good old days of the New York City Folk
Scare?
I thought not.
These posts started as a
podcast -- part of a larger radio presentation. They ran to fill a two and a
half minute segment with nothing else available. Can you imagine if they
lasted 15 minutes? It was my segment and any longer than 500 words would
have put me to sleep at the microphone.
Podcasts -- or Plodcasts
-- are a waste of your time and the efforts of their writers, producers,
speakers and the bandwidth of your internet connection.
Oh, but don’t they add
to the depth of reporting? Sometimes. But three times or -- heaven
forbid -- FIVE times a week? Nah. It’s just aural packing peanuts. And when you
spill the packing peanuts on the floor, where you have to chase them, and you
reach into the box that held them, there’s a crumb of interest -- if that.
Of course, in the days
of forced home incarceration, some of us have a lot of time to waste.
After all, how many closets can you rearrange in a week? You really don’t
want to paint the living room. You can’t shoot at targets indoors without a
permit. And you can’t practice your high jump in rooms of average ceiling
height.
So sure. Go find out
what happened in Lithuania on this day in 1745. Or watch cam girls or cam
boys (don’t let your spouse see the American Express bill.) Or maybe (shudder)
read a book. Even better, take a 20 minute nap. Make a phone call. Have a
conversation with the person from whom you hide the credit card bill.
NOTES FROM ALL OVER:
This just in…
(UNDISCLOSED LOCATION)
-- The almost universally unknown podcast distributor 4Forty4 has signed Larry
King to a $5 million contract to do a regular one hour celebrity interview
show. This was first reported by Variety.
(NEW YORK) -- Joe Rogan,
possible king of all podcasters, is taking his pod to Spotify. Rogan’s 1,000
podcasts have collected 24 million clicks. The closest runners up? The
next thousand down the list have collected a total of 24 clicks.
I’m Wes Richards. My
opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Any Questions? Wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2020
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