Computerized remote learning is only
one way to make college tough on students and faculty alike. But roadblocks
have always been common. Here’s one we first looked at in November of 2010.
Maybe it's necessary, but maybe not.
Two self appointed agencies have become the writing police for today's
college students. After four years of the American Psychological
Association or the Modern Language Association putting prose in a vise or
straight jacket, it's no wonder today's grads can't write. If they could
beforehand, they can't now.
These are the enforcers, the
knee-cappers, knuckle dragging, neck-less guys in black suits and when a real
writer sees them coming, he or she will quiver and acquiesce if he's looking to
get a decent grade in a college course.
Okay, there are some things that need
enforcement and conformity. Like the way a writer uses references, and
the way one uses quotations and the way he structures a paper or paragraph.
After that stuff, who cares? Let's look at some of the stupidest of
the stupid.
THE CULT OF THE ACTIVE VOICE:
Cornell Professor Will Strunk started it at a time when American English was
more florid and confusing than clear. His teachings included using small
and common words, simple declarative sentences and deflated phrases. That's
still good general advice, as it was then.
Later, E.B. White played St. Paul to
Strunk's Jesus and began spreading and enlarging The Word via “The Elements of
Style.” The Associated Press, United Press and, particularly
International News Service (now the "I" in "UPI,") became
the missionaries.
Active voice now is the APA and
MLA law. But when the object of a sentence is more important than the
subject, the passive voice is appropriate. In cases like this, the active
voice is forced, distracting and irrelevant. Try to tell that to your
professor.
RUN-ONS AND FRAGMENTS: An artful
writer can produce an effective run-on sentence or a sentence fragment.
Either "violation" can break the numbing monotony of the
academic template. If you don't think it's possible, check out Jimmy
Breslin or Hemingway.
CONJUNCTIONS: Another major no-no is
starting a sentence with a conjunction. But that's how we talk. (Please
note the sentence starts with a conjunction.)
Contractions, say the automated
APA computerized paper-reading programs, are "inappropriate to academic
writing." But sprinkling some contractions in a paper can help a
reader's comprehension. And it humanizes the text.
ME MYSELF AND I: And then, there's
writing in the first person, advocated by both enforcement groups. Both
branches of the Word Police suggest it over the third person. If you're
Warren Buffet talking about stocks or Charles Schumer talking about legislation
or Stephen Hawking talking about cosmology, sure. But if you aren't,
first person-isms are somewhere on the scale between pretentious and gauche.
Who cares what "I" think --
and who should?
It's impossible to know for sure, but
it's likely Strunk didn't want his work cryogenized. But even if he and
others like him did (George Orwell, Edwin Newman and William Safire for
examples,) he might look at the silly robotizing and homogenization the Word
Police have imposed, urge caution and decreased zealousness and conformity that
distracts both from writing and reading. Weave a straitjacket on the
writer and both he or she and the reader are, well, straitjacketed.
Can you imagine if this stuff got
carried over into real life? Here's a cop talking to a motorist he pulled
over: "Ma’am, may I see your driver’s license, registration and
insurance information as stated in State Law 3502 B of 1967, paragraph 23.601,
subsection 672D?" Motorist: "Yes, sir, but first you are
to be cautioned that as reported by myself, Jezebel. M. Motorist, there is a
9mm Glock in the glove compartment where the insurance card is situated, along
with a carry permit for the weapon. As recommended by Police Procedure
Code 23,123, I suggest that you open the passenger side door. And then it
can be fished out by yourself." The cop replies "Ma’am, I am
citing you for using the passive voice and starting a sentence with a
conjunction."
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my
own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Any Questions? wesrichards@gmail.com
© WIR 2020
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