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Today’s post was excerpted from a speech by B. Bucks Bankroll, founder and chairman of BB’s Department Stores at a mandatory staff meeting in the BB Arena.
“I want to thank all of you for giving up some of your free
time to attend this mandatory staff meeting. As you know, we at BBs put
people first. You’re all like family. And I want to thank you for voting
down the misguided and misleading attempt of the United Retail Clerks Local 4
to turn you into Communist slaves to the local’s corrupt masters.
“As you know the Government lackeys in Washington want to
force you to wear masks and get vaccinated for the Chinese Flu. And I
want you to know this: We will not tolerate this interference from a
bunch of out of touch politicians and force you to mask up or get jabbed. In
fact, we are ready to tell you that if we discover that you have been immunized
or seen at work or at home wearing a mask, we sadly will be forced to disown
you, call in the home loan we made for you, repossess your car and cut off your
health insurance.
“I must remind you that this is a right to work state. That
puts us on an equal and familial footing which means you are free to leave at
any time for any reason or no reason at all and we are free to separate
ourselves from you, in effect stabilizing our headcount and freeing you to seek
better employment opportunities.
“As you also know, we value productivity and efficiency. And
I thank you for yours, each and every one of you. To this end, we have
established a new division, “Associate Discovery.” You may be asking “how
does this affect me?” The answer is only a little. We will randomly
fly drones into the parking lots of clinics and your yards to test for mask
wearing. But we promise to never install cameras in your bedrooms or attempts
to hack your medical records.
“Once again, thank you for coming here today and please
swipe your BB’s ID cards as you exit.”
GRAPESHOT: Since so many have turned to pronouncing the “t” in often how
about we also start pronouncing the “d” in WeDnesday, the “e” in cache and the
“b” in lamb, limb and numb?
He’s Big Bucks Bankroll. His opinions are his own and do not
necessarily represent those of this post’s staff, management or sponsors.
Any Questions? wesrichards@gmail.com
© WR 2021
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