1511 Never on Sunday

1511 Never on Sunday

A famous movie about a hooker in Athens with a theme song that has become part of the Great American Songbook.  The song won the Academy Award, and so did the lead actress, Melina Mercouri.

But this is hardly a tribute to the great contributions of ancient and modern Greeks from Aristotle to Zorba.

Where does current prime minister Alexis Tsipras sit on that scale?  It remains to be seen.  But given his circumstances it’s a wonder he’s anywhere on it at all.

The European Union’s gnomes of Frankfurt and Brussels are asking for the moon.  And early Monday morning, they got it. Sort of. Greece does not have a moon to give.  And the local banks there… major lenders, know that but pretend they don’t.

So let’s get some nonsense out of the way:

--Yes, Greece didn’t watch its borrowing or its credit rating.

--Yes, its pension and welfare system is generous to a fault.

A friend recently asked why should other countries be forced to pay for the (alleged) sins of Greece?  The answer lies in three basic ideas:  

1. Europe is an emerging nation acting much in the same way the US acted in its pre constitutional days.
2. As an emerging nation it has yet to realize that rich states here kick in to help poor states.  New York gets back less than it gives so Texas and Alabama can survive.  We have learned to accept and sometimes embrace this.
3. When Greece abandoned the Drachma for the Euro, it gave up control of its own finances and now is being forced against its will and its ability to solve its own crisis.

You can’t have it both ways.  If the EU is made of autonomous states than each state should have and be able to set value of its own currency.  If the EU is truly a “union” then there is no question that the Big Boys -- Germany and the UK primarily and France, sort of -- have to help out without imposing the kinds of restrictions that will kill Greek commerce and then what’s left of its employment.

So, never on Sunday may apply to Greek streetwalkers, but it can’t apply to the leaders in Athens.

Grapeshot:

--The only version of Never on Sunday with Mercouri is in Greek, and too long to post… but you can find many another version on YouTube, though most of them are corny and lack soul.

Shrapnel:

--It’s the calm before the storm.  Microsoft is about to release a new version of its operating system.  PC sales are down while buyers await the debut so they can rush out and buy the latest in a seemingly endless parade of false promise and bungle.

--Mac fans will advise us all to trash our PCs and buy the ever-so-much cooler (and infinitely more expensive)  Apple computers.  Apple is one big sales pitch for itself and its biggest selling point is that it’s not Microsoft.  Owning one is like succumbing to someone saying “Here, light up.  All the cool kids smoke,” only slightly less dangerous.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2015

1408 Mayo is a Four Letter Word

Leave it to giant Unilever.   The Goliath- size food conglomerate is on the attack.  The David in this story is a company in San Francisco called Hampton Creek, which makes a vegan spread called “Just Mayo.”

Vegan means no animal anything.   Lever says ahah! False advertising!  Regulations say Mayonnaise must contain egg yolks.  Egg yolks are made by CHICKENS!

Hampton Creek founder Josh Tetrick says that’s why they don’t call their stuff mayonnaise, just “Just Mayo.”  Everyone knows what that means.  In fact, one major manufacturer, Kraft, calls its actual egg-containing mayonnaise “mayo” on the label.

Probably, Tetrick will be forced to call his sandwich spread something else.  And that is hitting him the wrong way.   

Butter substitutes aren’t allowed to call themselves butter.  So they’re called “buttery” or prominently display “Tastes like butter, half the calories” on their labels.

Artificially flavored chocolate calls its taste chocolatey.  

Mayonnaise -- the word -- is harder to fiddle with. Mayonnaisely?  Awkward.  Hard on the ears. Hard on the tongue. Too many letters for a label.

So what’s in “Just Mayo?”  Canola oil, water, lemon, a little vinegar, pea protein, beta carotene and dribs and drabs of other natural stuff. Plus there’s a version available with preservatives for those in search of the longer life it’s known to bring.  (Preservatives may preserve you as well as it preserves Wonder Bread.)

Backer Bill Gates and founder Tetrick probably would like you to scurry off to whole foods in hopes that you will pay sticker price.  But Wal-mart and Target carry it too, maybe for less… maybe not.

Unilever makes Hellmann’s.  Good stuff.  There are other big brands, too.  Do they really feel threatened by some little David?

The “get the other guy” brand of competition brings out the worst in us.  Competition is fine when you’re competing to be better or for the affection or loyalty of your customers -- or someone else’s.  But that’s not what we have here.   And in the real world, a bet on Goliath usually pays off.

Not always.  Early on, no one really expected Fox Television to become a big player.  Everyone expected Sony to win the videotape format wars.  At one point, Apple begged a loan from Microsoft, then much larger, just to stay in business.

But usually, bet on Goliath.

Tide outsells Wisk laundry detergent by the millions.  Procter and Gamble would unlikely be heartbroken if Sun Products went belly up.  But by all accounts, there’s no active effort underway.

Bloomberg would likely be happier if Reuters vanished from the face of the earth, but it’s not accusing it of false advertising.

And Microsoft probably regrets saving Apple, but isn’t taking the issue to court.

So let’s hear it for “Just Mayo.”  Even if they’re forced to call the stuff “the un-mayonnaise” or “tart white spread for your sandwich.”

Meantime, hold the mayo.

Shrapnel:

--Tip to mayor de Blastoff:  cut down those Fidel Castro- length speeches, Bill.  We were all happy to see Dr. Craig Spencer freed from Bellevue after serving 21 days as a suspected Ebola patient. But we didn’t need an hour long presentation about how great we all are, and he is and you are... plus they preempted “Maury” to carry your endless ramble.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2014