Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Some Like It Rough

178 Some Like It Rough

Some like it rough. No, not THAT kind of rough. For that, you’ll have to watch Talking Sex with Sue which is a late night television program (on the Winfrey Channel) in which a horny granny type says stuff you can’t believe is coming out of a grey mouth like hers, and during which she takes strange calls from (mostly) women who are having serious trouble with their sex lives or lack thereof.

This is a more generalized kind of rough. And it’s everywhere. Start with the president, who’s been described in this space previously as sounding like he’s making a late night call to Sue of the Oxygen Channel or perhaps to Condi. (“What are you wearing, Condi?” “A bath towel and a splash of Channel No. 5.”)

Not only does this guy sound like a heavy breather on the telephone, but what he says is the antithesis of smooth. Didn’t used to be that way. Clinton was smooth in his “aw shucks” good ole boy redneck way. Reagan was all smooth and no substance.

The songs on the radio sound like they have chips on their shoulders and would love to fight (target practice with radios tuned to “hot talk,” “right talk,” “modern Christmas” “hiphop and rap,” “Contemporary hit….” You need a lot of radios – if you are a lousy shot, ones that can change stations quickly.”

The newspapers are rough. The dancing is rough. The receptionist in the emergency room is rough.

The graceless crud that passes for culture nowadays leads one to believe that there’s nothing moving in arcs or sine waves anymore.

Paris Hilton? “Entertainment Tonight?” “Page Six” of the New York Post? Mel Gibson and his soul mate Michael Richards?

Then, there are those things and people who appear smooth but really aren’t.

A mushroom cloud is graceful. Its effects are rough.

Championship figure skating is graceful. Off the ice, the skaters are generally rough.

The car salesman or woman appears smooth, but wait until deal-making time comes.

The pro wrestling ring is a gentler place than the trading floor of the New York Stock Exchange, which doesn’t speak well of either.

It won’t be long before “let’s get hitched, b____.” is an accepted form of marriage proposal.

Dealing with customer service is rough. Deal with your neighbor is, too, as often as not.

The Motor Vehicle office, post office, the IRS, the INS, the cops, even a great many bartenders. Amusement park logistics, movie line logistics, working a digital camera, a Play Station or a TIVO. Beds sheets, two-by-fours and the nails you put into them, organizations exempt from the “Don’t Call” law, the NBA, the ocean.

Things are rough all over.

I'm Wes Richards, my opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.

(c) 2006 WJR

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