234 How To Do A Right Wing Talk Show
It’s a lot easier than doing a left-leaning one or one that’s in the middle.
Start thus: there are certain basic premises you need, and they are the foundations of the whole shebang:
1. I know stuff that you don’t, but will if you listen.
2. I am more mature, more worldly, more knowledgeable than you or anyone else. Also, smarter, funnier, more passionate and more sensible.
3. Everyone but us is the enemy.
4. The enemy can be blamed for anything, and once done, you can blame the enemy for anything that goes wrong (i.e. not “your” way,) and that the net result will be destroying
5. In sum, I’m great. If you follow me, YOU’RE great. “They” are out to get us, but we can fight back by following me me me.
Cut out those five points and tape them to your mirror.
Now, some show biz style hints for success:
1. Call names.
3. Repeat everything over and over and over (thank you, Adolf.)
4. Cut off people who call and disagree and humiliate them.
5. Lie, if necessary. (It almost always will be.)
1. Forget the errors and misdeeds of your political friends.
2. Ascribe anything that goes wrong to the Democratic Party’s control of Congress.
3. When you do, call them the “Democrat Party.”
4. Deny any scientific facts that don’t fit in with your views, and deny they are actual science.
5. Make sure you mention God at least three shows out of five, and make damn sure it’s a favorable mention.
6. Invent a premise and go with it to its logical conclusion. If you can’t muster logic, see point five, above.
Now, for some examples:
It’s hot out? Blame “The Libs.” It’s cold out? Point out how “The Libs” are wrong about global warming.
Shooter at a college? Obviously a liberal. If he were a REAL man, he wouldn’t be firing those guns, he’d be teaching the rest of us how to use them.
Casualties in battle? It’s because “The Libs” won’t send enough troops. (They “own” defeat, after all.)
Market goes down? Liberal propaganda drove it.
New planet discovered? God’s work.
Pillory Hillary. Just another Lib Liar.
Obama? Not black enough for the blacks.
Imus? Just kidding. Liberal, political correct squad got him into trouble.
Rene Portland? Gays won.
Any subject is game. Anything that’s wrong is game.
Newspaper circulation and evening news viewership slipping? It’s the LIBS. They are steering us to their propaganda websites (like CNN or PMSNBC for example,) where they have free reign with their evil agendas.
Tornado? God’s punishment for the godless LIBS.
Corzine in a 91 mph auto crash, and no seatbelt? See? The Libs can’t even follow their own safety rules!
Camel sits on, kills owner in
Rudy? Not really a conservative.
Edwards? Using political contributions from the poor liberals to get $400 haircuts.
Garbage in the streets? Libs diverted all the pickup money into recycling. Blame them.
No smoking in the saloon? Liberals just like the anti-tobacco Nazis of WWII Germany.
Lost your job to a woman or minority? Thank “The Libs,” not your lack of qualifications.
Klan rallies in your town?
Just rebelling against the feminazis.
Plus, they teach poor illiterate kids to read. (Starting with McGuffy and ending with Protocols of the Elders of Zion.)
Black has “your” seat on the bus?
We all know how THAT happened.
See? It’s easy. Any fool can do it.
I'm Wes Richards, my opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.
(c) 2007 WJR