Thursday, May 10, 2007

Toothbrushes

240 Toothbrushes

So there you are at the dentist and you're all finished up with the exam, and they give you a new toothbrush with their name on it and they tell you go get a few of these... extra soft Dento-World Sure-Grip wavy bristle brushes. So, being the obedient follows-doctor's-orders kind of patient, you zip on down to CVS or Duane's and of course they don't have it.

Neither do any of the other drugstore chains.

You call the doc and he says "try the website." And, sure enough, at dento-world-dot-com you find exactly what you're looking for. Two bucks each and a few bucks shipping. No prob.

You order (securely, on line, of course.) and eight weeks later, come your tooth brushes. Soft Dento-World Sure-Grip wavy bristle brushes.

What happened to extra soft.

"Contact Us."

"Dear Dento-World we ordered some extra soft Dento-World Sure-Grip wavy bristle brushes. But you sent us "soft," not "extra soft" as my dentist recommended."

"Dear Customer, thank you for writing. We are happy to hear from consumers (as opposed to "customers." How do you "consume" a toothbrush, other than burning it?) Unfortunately, we no longer manufacture extra soft Dento-World Sure-Grip wavy bristle brushes. We hope your tooth brushing experience will be a good one. Thanks again for writing and don't hesitate to contact us about our products any time."

So you call the dentist (again) and you tell him that the brushes he gives away and recommends are no longer being made, and what should you do?

In some cases, the answer is “find another brush.” To which you should reply “okay, but don’t recommend anything. If you do, it’ll vanish from the shelves (if it was ever there in the first place.”)

In others he’ll say “don’t worry about brushing, you won’t have any teeth left to brush the way you’re going.”

If you have a tooth pulled, and want it (there was a necklace like that under construction here, once,) they now tell you it’s medical waste and they have to dispose of it properly. If you’re a long-term patient and they know you’re not a secret spy for the Medical Waste Police” you might be able to talk them into (or out of) a more decorative position.

In the meantime, there is a secret stash of those highly desirable Extra Soft Dento-World Extra Soft Sure Grip Wavy Bristle brushes. But you’d better act fast.

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