Monday, November 05, 2007

Nixon In 2008

#316 Nixon in ‘08

Yeah, he may be dead, and he may have already been elected twice, but so what?

Nixon for President in 2008!

Iraq? That’s only Viet Nam-Light. He got us out of there. He can get us out of Iraq. So what if we bomb Cambodia (for old time’s sake) Syria and Lebanon.

Most of his flaws have become virtues.

Anti-Semitic? Sure. But Arabs are Semites, too. And we need a guy like that in the White House.

Anti-communist? Sure. Both real and imagined. Hugo Chavez, watch out. Here comes Dick!

The guy opened up China. China, a huge and sprawling country, full of …. Full of…. Chinese people. Just think of what he could do in Iran!

Who gave us China? Nixon.

Who gave us affirmative action?

Who gave us the EPA?

Who gave us price controls? Nixon.

Here’s a guy who could talk to Exxon in its own language. Nixon.

Nixon. Endorsed by the Teamsters’ Union.

Our kinda liberal.

Knew the difference between church and state.

Oh, so now you’re going to mention all his little character flaws. Think of them as challenges.

Watergate? A third rate burglary. Plus, we already know Deep Throat was making up all that stuff just because he didn’t get promoted to FBI Director.

Spiro Agnew? Well, he probably was the worst single personnel decision, but we learn from our mistakes.

Oops. Maybe not:

G. Harold Carswell for Supreme Court? Who knew how good he’d look compared with the charmers who’ve been added lately? Plus, we knew in advance he was crooked, and we could have watched him.

“Your President is not a crook.” Oh, sure he is. Don’t get defensive, Dickey.

Cambodia? Laos? Forget about it.

A staff that could have been recruited directly from Club Fed?

A brother who runs hamburger stands? (An elite club. Look at the Clinton and Carter brothers.)

Haven’t you had enough faux Texas, Connecticut-born cowboy who drives a pickup truck like an illegal immigrant? Haven’t you had enough hairspray, pant-suits, TV actors, flying saucer spotters and their sound a-likes and wannabes?

Don’t you want a guy who can speak the English language, who was born in a REAL state, who’s sliminess is all out in public and a Republican who enacts a lot of Democratic programs?

Nixon. This is a guy we need… a guy who understands what America’s all about.

It’s okay that he’s dead. He’s still a better President than anyone else who’s running.

And should there be another 9/11, you won’t find Tricky Dick ignoring it and going off to an elementary school to prove to America he can read.

I'm Wes Richards, my opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.

(c) 2007 WJR

1 comment:

pipskippy said...

I'm not sure how serious you are, but I've been thinking the same thing, and I wasn't even alive when Nixon was president. I wouldn't mind a little bit of Carter, either, and he's still alive. Shit, since the Constitution is swiss cheese, let's just amend it to let Arkansas governor's run for a third. I'll go ahead and say it - I miss Clinton more than words can say.