Friday, April 10, 2009

Pirates On Land and At Sea

534  Pirates On Land and At Sea

The pirates of Somalia are not Captain Cook, or even Captain Hook.  There is nothing romantic or adventurous or swashbuckling about them.  They're just a bunch of thieves trying to extort money from sucker countries.

As of this writing, the pirates of Somalia have lost their try at capturing a US boat.  The crew. following the captain's orders, locked themselves in their cabins.  Later, they burst from said cabins and overpowered the pirates, set the boat free and carried on with the mission.  As of now, the captain of the cargo ship is in the hands of the thieves.  And the US Navy is on hand with a battle ship that could easily blast the thing to Kingdom Come.

The Navy won't do that.  It wants to rescue the captain, a sympathetic character who looks like your next door neighbor and who is purported to be a smart but regular guy.

If you were a pirate and were confronted with a US Navy vessel, what would you do?  You know the answer.  You'd release the hostage, put your arms into the air and hope the US Navy would show you some mercy.  

Not these guys.  They figure they can out fox and out fight.  Not going to happen.  They'll twaddle and twiddle for awhile.  And if the pirates have any sense at all, they'll give up their hostage and hope they won't be sent to the bottom of the sea.

Of course, there's more piracy on land these days than there is at sea.  Scam after scam relieves people of their decreasing 2009 Depression Era wealth.  We don't call it piracy, but that's pretty much what it is.  Piracy, 21st century style.  Instead of "avast, matey, hand over your gold..."  these guys say something like "...if you've been hurt in an accident, call my law firm.  We don't get paid until YOU get paid..."  (except of course for expenses, copying costs, telephone calls, etc.)  

One of the more popular new "hand over your gold" pitches starts off "...are you buckling under from credit card debt?  The card companies have secrets they don't want you to know.  Call us for a free consultation, and we'll get you out of debt for less than you owe..."

And yet another: "...I lost 123 pounds on the Nutrastarve Watcher plan and loved every minute of it.  You can, too."  On the TV screen for the briefest possible time will be flashed "results not typical."  They have to do that.  The credit card and Whiplash Willie law firms should have to do the same.

It was simpler when they just said "Stick 'em up!"

Shrapnel:

--The tax experts send thank you notes these days.  Thanks.  We'll see about a response when the returns are accepted and no audit follows.

--Just about every politician is power hungry.  But not everyone who's power hungry is a politician.  Sometimes, door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesmen are power hungry, too.

--A good Passover and a Happy Easter to you all.

I'm Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.®
WJR 2009©

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