Wednesday, August 12, 2009

584 I Am A Union Thug

584 I Am A Union Thug.

The right wing wingnuts are telling us that "union thugs" are silencing their grass roots out-speakers against President Obama's "...plan for socialized medicine." Absolutely correct.

We are only there, of course, because the Nation of Islam and the Black Panthers and the WWE Wrestlemania types were busy elsewhere. They'll all be aboard soon enough, but while we're waiting, we do what we can.

As a fully accredited Union Thug, I'm a guy who depends on all my years of thuggishness for my present, rare and inadequate Union Thug defined benefit pension, money I would never have seen were it not for my life in the militancy of the American Federation of Radio and Television Artists (AFL-CIO) The Writers Guild of America, the National Association of Broadcast Employees and Technicians, the Wire Service Guild, the Workman's Circle.

Man Am I a Union Thug. Hulking. Snarling. Intimidating. Fat! Better watch out you capitalist wimps.

So was my mom. Early member of the United Federation of Teachers of New York City. And my uncle Sol, a shop steward in the Retail Employees Union. Goons, all of them. Barely able to walk on their hind legs.

Just wait until the Panthers, the NOI and the WWE get on board. You ain't seen nuthin' yet.

The AFL-CIO has not yet contacted me and asked me to attend a meeting on health care reform. But I'm ready when they do. I'm sure the invitation was lost in the mail. My buddy, G the cop, a loyal member of the NYPD Patrolman's Benevolent Association, even has volunteered to lend me her lead pellet sap, purely defensive, of course.

"Don't you need that, G?" "Nah, I have the lead gloves and the brass knuckles, plus we don't get a lot of action in Midtown South." Another PBA member, Tony V, has volunteered his services. Tony is 6'9" and as wide as a boxcar. No one has asked him to meetings yet, either. Maybe if Hulk Hogan can't make it.

Meantime, we thugs will trail around the country, making sure those Great Patriots who want to discriminate against the sick and the elderly don't get out of hand.

Shrapnel:

--The major broadcast news outfits all prohibit use of the title of "Dr." for anyone whose doctorate is not an MD. They say it's to avoid confusion. But it also neatly sticks pins in pompous academics and others with doctorates in non-subjects.

--Other titles flow like water over Niagara. The New York Times and the Wall Street Journal unfailingly use "Mr." or "Ms." before anyone's name. Used to be they dropped the courtesy title when someone was convicted of a crime, though today it's still "Mr. Madoff."

--What's in your wallet, as Capital One likes to ask? Not a Capital One credit card after decades. Triple my interest rate, will ya, after never missing a payment or late with one?


I'm Wes Richards. My opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.®
©WJR 2009

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